Rupert Murdoch and Bill Gates to Biologically Merge

Written by T John Cunningham

Thursday, 17 June 2010


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image for Rupert Murdoch and Bill Gates to Biologically Merge
Artist's Impression of the result

The CEO's of the two business giants, News Corp and Microsoft are to biologically merge, it was announced today.

The operation which is expected to take 12 hours (US Time) will take place at the prestigious UCLA Medical Centre in LA.

It is expected that the more appealing face of the merger will be that of Bill Gates. Preliminary tests showed an absence of a heart in the Murdoch body, so that too will be contributed by Gates.

A hospital spokesman said "Murdoch is of course considerably the older of the two, but we believe there will be some bits that can be harvested and used to the optimise the hybrid. It's a mean, nasty and competitive business world out there, so we intend to maximise the qualities of the two to fully optimise the merger. For example, Murdoch's asshole is a shoe-in, given that it forms a good 75% of his entire bodily being, contrary to popular belief that he's actually a COMPLETE asshole, (i.e. not 100%)."

A significant departure from the merge will be the issue of the penis. Neither CEO are in a position to offer one of any significance, so this will be donated by Murdoch's son, James, who has a spare one sticking out at the front of his forehead.

It's believed that the remaining parts will be brought together to form a third person, who is expected to named as a candidate for the republicans in the next Presidential election.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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