"Miley Cyrus" May Have Ruined Your Son Or Daughter

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 26 July 2010

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While WalMart and other sellers of the Miley Cyrus jewelry say they have recalled the product for over six months now, they estimate that there are still millions of the baubles out there.

The Miley Cyrus brand jewelry contained toxic cadmium and was imported from China (Where else?).

The National Health Service is making all new ads for television and in teen magazines saying these objects should be returned or they could make you very sick.

A spokesperson has announced that, although many have been returned for a refund, they have records now that show that only a fifth have been returned of all those sold.

Symptoms of cadmium poisoning in your teens is the wearing of short outfits, dancing around stripper poles, slanting your eyes with your fingers, singing goofy songs, rubbing your butt into an older male's groin while dancing and bringing a super-sausaged boyfriend home with them.

This also goes for young males, so ask their classmates, they'll know. Especially about bringing home the big sausaged boyfriends. Authorities say to get a glass and hold it up against the wall at night and see if you hear any grunting and moaning in the bedroom.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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