Manchester City have unveiled their latest mega-bucks international signing for the coming season: Jason Donovan.
The ex-Neighbours and chart-topping star who has lost a lot of hair recently, is said to be thrilled.
"I never thought I'd be given a chance to play in the Premiership," he said. "It's a wonderful cap to a marvellous career, and I owe it all to my agent."
Donovan's agent saw that Manchester City were interested in Donovan, and approached them.
"I read in the paper that City were interested in signing Donovan, so I thought the lad's not worked in a while, it'll be the perfect gig for him. Most of their other signings are never going to play, so Jason can join them."
Previous signing, David Silva, was upset to hear that City had thought he was David Villa, and is not surprised at Donovan's signing.
"They probably though they were getting Landon," said Silva, bitterly. "It wouldn't surprise me if they also sign Madonna and Coleen Rooney."
Manchester City manager, Roberto Mancini, did explain his actions, but nobody could understand him. What was understood was that his next signing will be Torres, as Mancini held up a picture of Dara Torres, the American gold-medal winning swimmer.