Anna Chapman Debriefed On The Isle of Wight Says Brading Nature Rambler
Flame-haired femme fatale Anna Chapman, the Russian spy whose saucy Facebook images adorned the front page of the New York Daily News after she was arrested by US authorities, might have been debriefed on the Isle of Wight, writes Espionage Erotica E...
Read full storyPaul the Psychic Octopus pulls off plucky escape from aquarium!
Saying "I've had enough", Paul the Octopus used his nimble tentacles to pop the lid off his tank and pull off a plucky escape. Running away with him was pregnant girl-friend Paulina. German zoo officials commented: "Ve hef abzoolootly no idea ve...
Read full storyMyspace fights against loss of Market Share
Social networking site has been losing ground to Farcebook since its arch rival set up shop on the other side of the street. They tried a niche pop group advertising, but Farcebook groups had more adherants, and the bands abandoned Myspace in favour...
Read full storyIran Morals Police Arrest Woman For Wearing Crotchless Panties Under Burqa
Dateline Tehran: A 63 year old woman was arrested today by the morals police for allegedly wearing crotchless panties under her burqa. The woman, the morals officer explained, was caught flashing a young male in his twenties who complained that...
Read full storyJob Centre Magazine. Letters To The Editor.
Dear Sir, I am an astronaught, but unwilling to travel. I have been coming to the job centre for many months without success. When will you introduce a NASA section? Yours Frustrated Buz Lightheaded Dear Sir, I was made redundant from my job as a bell ringer. I came to the job centre and despite some difficulties, your staff managed to get me work at St Pauls Cathederal. They h...
Read full storyFormer "Little House" Actress Melissa Gilbert Has Broken Back!
"Little House On The Prairie" lasted for about nine years and drew a huge audience from former readers of the books, plus a lot of teens and kids who pulled for the Ingalls family as they battled against the elements of the 1800's life on the prairie...
Read full storyThe Australian Sex Party Growing Fast!
The Australian Sex Party formed in 2008 is beginning to rapidly multiply, but of course, that's what Sex Party's do. "Tea Party! What a lame name!", stated Fiona Patten who is the leader of the party and will stand for the SENATE in the next feder...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner, Friend Arrested For Terrorism After Airplane Lands
Stopping off on an emergency landing in Atlanta, Actors Taylor Lautner and another actor thought to be Jimmy Walker were handcuffed and told to shut up and to keep walking after government officers marched the two through the airport in Atlanta. "...
Read full storyOldest Brit Eunice Dies At 111
Super sleuth reporter Herr Riballs has learned that Britain's oldest woman, Eunice Crabtree, has sadly passed away at 111. Eunice, who lived all her life in Swaffham, Norfolk, once joked that the secret of her long life was "20 Bensons, Special B...
Read full storyBaby Admits Hiring Assassin To Wipe Out Mel Gibson, Oksana!
After the past two weeks of reports that Mel Gibson had hit his girlfriend and the mother of his baby, Oksana Grigorievia, it seems that the police not only have been given more recordings of Mel's drunken racist rages, they are also looking into cha...
Read full storyPalace Refuses Entry
A Pathologist, famed for always getting things wrong, has been refused entry into Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen. In a rarely used procedure, the Pathologist, who cannot be named, found an email message from the Queen stating: 'You have broug...
Read full storyTed Hughes reflections II
Sunshine is not silent Reaching is not emotional Hoping is not a bet 850 people flying in a single plane is progress Pain had 2 vowels Hopeful has 3 Tony Blair will die - as we all will one day Football is strength and unity Brazil is early yet rewarding Time travel is still conjecture E equals mc squared is more profound than Maxwell Tragedy is a symptom not a crime. Cold rolli...
Read full storyTed Hughes reflections unearthed
The crease of tissue paper silent and unplayable. A box is sometimes flat. The visitude of organisms is palpable. The dumbing down of science - self fulfilling. The angst of mothers is perpituous. The greed of the rich is ironic yet calculable. Sadness is not poverty. Desperation is not hope. The creed of Apollo sounds divine. Bovine is not supine. Treachery is brave. Gazu...
Read full storySensational apologies
In line with the best journalism I shall, from time to time, be issuing apologies and corrections for things I have written for The Spoof that have been found to be mistaken. In that way the pedantic geeks, who have nothing better to do but poke holes in my errorts, might be satisfied. 1. My description of the musical compositions written by composers for the vuvuzela as being easily mistake...
Read full storyCrazy Daddy Gambles Away Children's Pocket Money
Bad daddy, Mr. Waldo Browne from 151 Naughty Street, spends all his adorable baby children's pocket money on himself. Naughty parent he is. Oink oink. Tiny, beautiful little children Timmy and Jasmin Browne are forced to beg from strangers s...
Read full storyFuror as Tomlinson inquiry pathologist 'found Camden Ripper victim Sally White died of natural causes'
London - (Outrage News): Home Office pathologist Dr Freddy Patel has a bit of previous it emerged today. Just why he was chosen - and by whom - to conduct a postmortem into the death of innocent G20 passer-by Ian Tomlinson remains a mystery. Th...
Read full storyPaladino Evicts Muslim
Saif Shah Mohammed got a surprise today - an eviction notice from Republican Governor candidate Carl Paladino. Mr. Mohammed works near the World Trade Center with the law firm Clearly Gottlieb. Paladino campaign spokesman Michael Caputo explained...
Read full storyNottingham Bartender Steals Ale Recipe, Gets Rich in Boston
Working as a resident alien from England and growing in popularity as a Boston brew master, Alistair McCockle has hit the U.S. beer market by storm with a low calorie and highly flavorful Ale recipe he claims he invented himself. Struggling to kee...
Read full storyRevealed: The late Saddam Hussein prayed to toilets
Saddam Hussein the former Dictator of Iraq who died and went to hell, is revealed to have not really been a Muslim as he pretended to be, but he in fact prayed to toilets. Saddam Hussein believed that praying to toilets would help him become a gre...
Read full storyRevealed: Barack Hussein Obama was born in The Scammer Republic of Nigeria
Yes it is true that Obama was not born in USA and yes it is true that his Dad was Kenyan, but Obama was born neither in USA or Kenya, Obama was in fact born in Nigeria, the country famous for scamming white people. Why was Obama born there? Obama'...
Read full storyAl Gore In Two More Sex Scandals!
Has Al Gore lost it completely or what? After accusations from a masseuse in Portland, Oregon that is causing a police inspection, at first thought routine, now to move into it's third week after hearing more evidence, there has apparently been two m...
Read full storyPensioner faces jail over recycling blunder
Norma Gusset, a 95 year-old widow, faces the prospect of a prison sentence today, due to an innocent blunder with her waste recycling. Apparently, inspectors employed by Birmingham County Council, discovered not one, but two plastic bottles in the...
Read full storyDevon James Still Insists Son Belongs To Tiger Woods, Wants DNA Testing
After getting one suit thrown out of court, porn star Devon James is still trying to get money from Tiger Woods, even though DNA evidence has cleared Tiger once. She has filed new court documents asking another judge to force Tiger to submit DNA e...
Read full storySocial Networking Tools Make You a Sedentary Fat Bastard
Studies by the World Health Organization consortium known as the "Gastro-Intestinal Researchers, Therapists and Hospitals", have indicated that the typical social networking tool addict, has a 97% chance of being or becoming a grotesquely fat bastard...
Read full storyCop Shoots 50,000v Taser into mans groin
It has been reported that a Mr Bartholomew 'bart' Cox plans to sue the Police after a cop 'accidentally' discharged 50,000-volt Taser into his knackers! Needless to say, Mr Tingle,79, collapsed, in agony as one electric pin hit him in the right test...
Read full storyGerrard's Parents House Torched
Girls Aloud star Nadine Gerrard and Liverpool FC captain Steven Gerrard have rushed back to Liverpool as they found out their mother's house had been set alight by thugs. According to a source close to the family, both Nadine and Steven are fuming...
Read full storyGovernment Motors (GM) Now Confirmed to be "Dumbest Obama Takeover" as it invests More Taxpayer Money to Acquire Subprime Lender to 'increase sales."
Just a day after the wrecking crew of Chris Dodd & Barney Frank announced their economy shattering new financial legislature set to doom the already shaky private sector, the dynamic duo, known around town by cocktail waitresses as "Gay" and "Not...
Read full storyThe Muppet Wars. Chapter 3: Elmo; Behind The Illeism.
Elmo was a failure, initially. Debuting in a non-speaking role as "Baby Monster" in 1972, the furry red monster with large white eyes and an orange nose did not hear from PBS' now flagship show, until he was teamed with Kevin Clash in 1984. Sesame Street staff writer Nancy Sans once described Elmo's rebirth: "Elmo used to hang around the set, helping set designers, giving the lighting crew back...
Read full storyBarney's Frank Receives Pneumatic Implant
Veteran Senator Barney Frank announced yesterday that a recent stint in Holy Cross Hospital was not due to any heart related issue as was reported in the press, but that he did receive a pneumatically operated penile implant instead. Long time Vig...
Read full storyBNP's Griffin outfoxes Palace security by arriving in burkha!
London - (Blackshirt Mess): The BNP politician managed to gain access to this afternoon's Buckingham Palace shindig by donning the robes of the Queen of Afghanistan. The disguise was last worn by Our Man in Kabulshit - Foreign Orifice envoy Sir Sh...
Read full storyLindsay; Not the Only Lohan in Hot Water
While self proclaimed father of the year, moral guidepost and empathetic (or pathetic) patriarch of the Lohan family rushed to his daughter's side in court, creating a tear filled, emotional scene that drew attention to himself, Michael Lohan may ha...
Read full story'Overheated' Al Gore Accused in 2 More Kinky Episodes Claims Unintended Consequences as Penis 'keeps rising!"
According to the latest scuttlebutt concerning the unravelling Global Warming Scam put out by Al "Mr. Green" Gore, the world's oceans aren't the only natural phenomena that keep rising. New reports surfacing cite Al's problem with a rampantly ris...
Read full storyEwan McGregor issues public apology
LONDON - Actor Ewan McGregor today apologised for, "pissing away my talent." The formerly credible movie star expressed his regret at taking roles on the basis of money and exposure, rather than artistic integrity and merit. "I don't know what ha...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan to be released early?
Lindsay Lohan is to be released early from prison, and will not serve the full ninety days. Indeed, it has been hinted that due to her disruptive nature behind bars, she may not even see out two weeks. According a source within the prison, Lohan w...
Read full storyThe Education System in England as seen through the eyes of Takwana and Anitakapita of Middlesbrough
Our reporter, Lady G. met with two of her favourite 'characters' earlier this week, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, N.E. England. They met up at the girls' favourite restaurant, Morrisons' Berwick Hills Branch. "My treat," said Lady G. as the three of them stood in line waiting to order. "Ee! Ta very much Lady G. A think arl just 'ave the chicken...
Read full storyIsle of Wight Now More Popular than Haiti as Ultimate Tourist Destination!
After centuries of slumbering unnoticed, suddenly the Isle of Wight, due to a cosmic convergence of puzzling occurrences, has been thrust into the public limelight, and just yesterday was named as the World's Most Intriguing New Tourist Destination,...
Read full storySuBo fanatics elect new Board members!
The chief fanatics at the Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loony's favourite meeting place have today announced their new line-up of Board members. The meeting place, recently bought out by the fanatics themselves, has been subjected to civil...
Read full storyOutrage as BNP Leader Nick Griffin is Invited to Come Outside
BNP leader Nick Griffin has been invited by the electoral commission to come outside into the fresh air. Mr Griffin, 51, a life-long member of the National Front and the BNP has been forced to remain under a protected lock-down inside his home in Wel...
Read full storyStonehenge Mystery
The discovery of a site near Stonehenge of great historical interest has excited all interested in the ancienct history of Britain. Various theories are being put forward to explain what these new structures are all about. Mystic Meg is certain...
Read full storyVuvuzela Headache
At several Premier League clubs the vuvuzela, beloved to South Africans, is to be banned. An angry reaction came from one Arsenal fan, where the instrument has been banned. 'It is a breach of my human rights. This will take Arsenal to Europe for a...
Read full storyeBooks Outsell Hardback Books, Amazon Kindles Celebrate
Kindles were ecstatic this week when they read in The New York Times that Amazon had announced that, " . . . for the last three months, sales of books for its e-reader, the Kindle, outnumbered sales of hardcover books." To celebrate, Kindles stop...
Read full storyHarrods Bangkok Store Proving Popular With Customers
Harrods, the exclusive Knightsbridge store recently sold by Mohammed al-Fayed to Qatar Holdings for a sum of £1.5 billion, has proved a roaring success with customers at its new branch in Bangkok. Sadly, I do not know where the store is located.
Read full storyBritain Bans Native Americans from Entering Country for World Lacrosse Championships
Although British authorities are using the excuse that the Native American Lacrosse Team players don't have proper passports, many are saying there is a more sinister reason for not allowing the players into the country. The men's team is made up...
Read full storyTwo Miracle Births in One Week at London Hospital
London, England - An amazing story broke this week out of London that has the world and most doctors scratching their heads. A black Nigerian couple, Ben and Angela Ihagboro, living in London announced the birth of their child--a blonde-haired, blue-...
Read full storyBad night for Robber
A local liquor store was held up last night but by the time police arrived the said robber was gone. The night clerk reported that at 12:12 am, a white male approximately 5 foot, 9 inches tall with long brown hair and bad teeth walked into the...
Read full storyLatest Kate Plus Eight Episode Has Sextuplets Appearing Before PA Labor Board
Not one to miss an opportunity to keep the cameras rolling on America's most under-watched but overly-talked about reality series, the crew of Kate Plus Eight just wrapped filming the next segment in front of the Pennsylvania Labor Board, where Kate...
Read full storyHead For Sale
Today the Walt Disney Corporation announced they would be selling the famed Walt head that they have kept frozen since his death. The company is hoping that someone will buy the head to restore Walt to life. Some people are speculating this m...
Read full storyVienna Girardi Says Jake "The Bachelor" Pavelka Is Gay and Jake Says Vienna "The Bitch" Is A Lying Lesbian
LOS ANGELES - The couple who went from being the happiest couple in America to being the meanest, angriest, most effed up couple within a few short weeks is back in the headlines. Jake "The Snake" Pavelka says that Vienna "The Whore" Girardi is no...
Read full storySpoof Writer Found In Tang Hua Seng With Vuvuzela Shoved Up His Arse
He's tasted the sweet smell of success with his recent remorseless and relentless coverage of vuvuzela stories, but for spoof writer Monkey Woods, it was very nearly a case of 'live by the vuvuzela, die by the vuvuzela', after the miserable northerne...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Malaria Latest: It's Actually Gonorrhea
There was startling news in the Cheryl Cole Malaria case this morning, when a slack-jawed associate of the singer revealed that, rather than a case of malaria, Chezza is, in fact, suffering with a rampant dose of gonorrhea. The source, who wished...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Unable to Talk: God says, "Pwned!"
Some English girl, who apparently had more #1 hits than the Beatles while in the band "Spice Girls 2.0" may never be able to speak again, after contracting malaria through a surgical scar in her most-recent nose, while trying to infect the citizery o...
Read full storyPriest Offers Mel Gibson's Confessional on eBay
Father Thomas McBlarney, a priest at Mel Gibson's personal Catholic Church in Malibu, The Church of the Broken Family, is trying to sell the confessional Gibson frequents at the church on eBay for an undisclosed sum of money. Taking his cue from a...
Read full storyApple to Introduce the Ear-Phone
Cupertino CA: Steve Jobs, Apples' CEO, announced the next technological breakthrough called the Ear-Phone would follow the successful introduction of the ipod, ipad and iphone. The Ear-Phone is a response to various state governments banning the...
Read full storyFox News, Tea Party Snookered by Own Stupidity
The first rule of chasing down a good news story is to get the facts, ALL of the facts, and then write a report that will get the attention of the listeners. Well, Andrew Breitbart, conservative publisher and big proponent of the Tea Party got the second part right anyway. Breitbart found himself the proud owner of a tape of a black female USDA official giving a speech to the local NAACP chapte...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Voice Fears Unfounded
Reports that Cheryl Cole's voice may have been permanently affected in a detrimental way by her recent malaria ordeal have been rubbished by music critics. The star contracted the tropical disease whilst on holiday in Tanzania with Dancing Derek H...
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