Cheryl Cole Voice Fears Unfounded

Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 22 July 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Voice Fears Unfounded
Get Some Of That Down Yer Lass. What Can't Hurt Thee Can Only Do Thee Good.

Reports that Cheryl Cole's voice may have been permanently affected in a detrimental way by her recent malaria ordeal have been rubbished by music critics.

The star contracted the tropical disease whilst on holiday in Tanzania with Dancing Derek Hough, and collapsed during a photo shoot.

The 'Fight For This Love' singer and X-Factor judge has now been released from hospital and is recuperating quietly at home, but hasn't been doing much singing, according to associates.

All of which led to fevered speculation by the press that her dulcet tones may have been irrepairably damaged, but sources close to the 5'3" star hotly refute this.

Skoob News Showbiz Correspondent, Buffty Ginslinger, told us:

"Her voice will be as all right as it ever was. I don't see what all the fuss is about. She could never carry a tune to save her life - most of the time she lip-synced, and when she wasn't doing that, the backing singers carried the tune while she pranced about a bit trying to look good. As for losing her voice? How can you lose something which you never had in the first place?"

The whole thing appears to be based on unfounded speculation by the tabloids. Here at Skoob News we wish Cheryl all the very best in her speedy recovery and heartily recommend a mad diet of fish and chips and doner kebabs in order to build up the seven stone in weight she lost.

And Special Brew.

That'll sort it.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more