Bad daddy, Mr. Waldo Browne from 151 Naughty Street, spends all his adorable baby children's pocket money on himself.
Naughty parent he is.
Oink oink.
Tiny, beautiful little children Timmy and Jasmin Browne are forced to beg from strangers so that they can fuel their basic toy and sweets needs.
Policemen have seen the sweet urchins shaking begging bowls outside the local supermarket, pleading with ladies and gentlemen to spare a few coppers.
Meanwhile, their devious daddy is out having the time of is life spending their pocket money on the slot machines at Twisty's World of Wonder in the bad part of town - near the old cattle slaughtering plant.
Oink oink.
Daddy Browne - a single father who wishes to date a respectable lady who enjoys UFO spotting and measuring things - says that he is teaching his baby son and daughter that life is poo-poo.
Oink oink.
Each Christmas he leaves a lump of moss he plucked from the roof of the house in their socks as a gift from the 'Christmas Elf'.
When the children lose their teeth, Papa Browne sneaks into their room at night and steals their pearly whites to sell to his mate Chesty Givens down at the arcade for a couple of pence.
"Its better they learn it now rather than later", he grunted, "I got a bike and a teddy bear when I was young and look at the way I turned out. It's for their own good."
And maybe it is. Who knows? Who are we to judge?
I am a little pig who writes.
Oink oink.
