Lembit Opik Dumps Katie Green His Gorgeously Beautiful "Lingerie Model" Girlfriend

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 5 November 2009

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image for Lembit Opik Dumps Katie Green His Gorgeously Beautiful "Lingerie Model" Girlfriend
A rare photo of Katie Green where she is showing neither cleavage, thigh, ass, nor hoo-ha.

LONDON - British Liberal Democrat Politician Lembit Opik has surprised family, friends, fellow politicians, and most of the members of the free world by dumping a woman who literally oozes sex.

Katie Green, the full-figured beautifully gorgeous goddess said that she did not even hear about the breakup from Opik himself. She says that she read about it in The London Hand-Held Daily Mirror.

Katie said that she was devastated because just the day before Lemmy, as she calls Opik, had bought her a 4 karat diamond engagement ring with matching earrings, bracelet, necklace, and vaginal ring.

The 22-year-old Green said that she was in paradise. She said that they were even planning on getting married on the romantic Spanish Island of Majorca, located in the Mediterranean Sea.

Opik had even told Katie that he wanted their first child to be named after Manchester United footballer Wayne Rooney, even if it's a girl.

Miss Green was asked by a reporter for the BBC if she had any idea why it was that Mr. Opik had dumped her like a hot potato.

She answered that she had no earthly idea, unless it was maybe because her favorite all-time favorite band is the Beatles and she does have a habit of singing Beatles songs while she's putting on her makeup.

Katie then said, with tears in her eyes, that Lemmy does not like the Beatles and that he preferred the Rolling Stones.

At any rate the BBC is reporting that they have received over 8,000 emails saying how stupid Opik is to let such a ravishingly beautiful woman get away.

The BBC has also reported that they received 43 emails praising Opik for his decision to drop Miss Green. The BBC did add that of the 43 emails, 40 were from gay blokes and 3 were from bi-blokes.

The BBC stated that they will continue pursuing the story and plan to do a one-hour special entitled, 'Lembit Opik Dumps One of England's Most Sexually-Alluring Women - Did The Brit Politico Bump His Bloomin' Bloody Bliming Head or What???'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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