Concern as 'joy' comes to Liverpool

Funny story written by Football mole

Thursday, 5 November 2009

image for Concern as 'joy' comes to Liverpool
A Liverpool fan last night

Liverpool ace Ryan Babel was forced into a grovelling apology last night after his wonder strike against French pace-setters Olympique Lyonnais caused outbreaks of joy on Merseyside.

Liverpool's continued presence in the Champions League was hanging by a thread in Lyon last night as time ticked on and news of an unfavourable result in the other group E match trickled through from Italy.

Fiorentina's 4 - 2 victory over Hungarian side Debrecen meant that a Liverpool win was essential for the crisis-hit club.

However, the people in the red half of the city - renown for being really funny and chirpy even in the face of overpowering hardship, such is their plucky nature - were unexpectedly given cause to feel 'happy' when Babel's 20-yard screamer flew into the top corner of the Lyon net leaving French number one Lloris flapping at thin air.

Travelling fans were seen to be celebrating wildly for nearly eight minutes until Lisandro Lopez crashed in a late equaliser.

Despite breathing a deep sigh of relief at the misery, there was concern that the game could take another twist in the Red's favour in injury time, but the score line remained 1 - 1 at the full time whistle.

Liverpool Lord Mayor, Degsy Aaaaarite 55, said: "Babel's goal was potentially very damaging to the people of Liverpool. We're only happy when we're suffering, in mourning or claiming ownership of horrendous tragedies that occur all over the world.

"Feeling happy leaves us distinctly uncomfortable," he added.

Bezza Fazakerly of Liverpool fanzine 'we're not happy unless we're unhappy' said: "Da papers have gorrit spot on. It would be da end of da wairld if da club were banished to da wilderness of da Europa League.

"It would be such a kick in da teeth for Liverpool Football Club whose exclusion from da top European competition is untinkable."

Lord Mayor of London, Boris Johnson's comments we're extremely offensive last night but echoing the whole country's sentiments, Torquay United fan Polly Sherman 65, said: "It must be awful for Liverpool FC. I feel for them, I really do."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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