Two Foot Eight Inch Verne Troyer aka "Mini-Me" Hit With Temporary Restraining Order

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 5 November 2009

image for Two Foot Eight Inch Verne Troyer aka "Mini-Me" Hit With Temporary Restraining Order
A pair of Verne's baby shoes, which amazingly he still wears from time to time.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The 2 foot 8 inch tall (or rather short) actor known as "Mini-Me" Verne Troyer has been issued a temporary restraining order.

Police reports indicate that the tiny little bitty fella has been sending some very not-so-nice emails and text messages to his ex-girlfriend the regularly-sized Yvette Monet.

Ms. Monet says that she has also received some obscene phone calls that she knows are from him even though he is trying to disguise his voice and the status bar shows "Name Unavailable."

When asked how she can be so sure it is him she said she is positive it is Troyer because the caller is using 'little' words and he speaks in 'short' sentences.

The amazingly tiny Verne Troyer has appeared in several Austin Powers movies as well as he had one of the four leads in the Bernardo Fellanuchi-directed film classic, Little Women.

In the movie "Mini-Me" donned a wig and played the part of Amy Curtis March, youngest and 'shortest' of the four March sisters.

Verne, who is 40, was supposed to have appeared on the first season of Dancing With The Stars but after his professional dancing partner Edyta Sliwinska accidentally stepped on him sending him to the hospital for three weeks he had to voluntarily drop out of the show.

Edyta noted that on their first day of rehearsal all of a sudden she looked around and she could not find him. She looked everywhere. She was frantic and finally she heard him say, "Hey Ed, I'm right here."

Sliwinska blushed as she said that somehow he had slipped and landed in her cleavage. She had no idea he was there until he said something...after about 14 minutes.

Troyer said that when he got home that night, his then girlfriend Renae Shrider asked him how he had gotten his facial tit marks.

When he told her, she became so upset she threatened to put him in a pan, cook him, and feed him to her Doberman Pinscher.

Police records indicate that little "V" as both Renae and Yvette call him has a history of doing some funky a*s stuff. He once hid in Renae's panties in order to sneak into a movie theater.

Another time while appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show he managed to hide between her legs during a commercial.

And two years ago he went up to a Santa in a department store during the Christmas season and pretended that he was a little six-year-old boy. He told Santa that for Christmas he did not want a toy truck, or a toy gun, or toy soldiers.

He looked up at Santa and told him that he wanted a box of condoms. Santa looked at him and told him that he was getting a toy truck.

"V" reached down and grabbed Santa's groin. Santa started yelling and hollering. He stood up, grabbed little Verne like a football and drop kicked him over into the small appliance department, a full two departments down.

Yvette Monet stated that in the restraining order Verne Troyer is prohibited from getting within 200 feet of her ankles.

He is also not to call her on her cell phone, text her, email her, or to invite her to go out to IHOP for a 'short' stack of pancakes, which by the way is his favorite all-time food.

When Ms. Monet was asked why she continued staying with him knowing that he was so weird, she just shook her head.

She got a tear in her eye and said that the little friggin' son-of-a-little-bitch just had a cute little way about him of suddenly hopping up on her bosom and instantly making her laugh.

In related news. Verne Troyer is currently working on his autobiography. He devotes two chapters to his passion for being out on the high seas. The book is entitled, 'It's A Small World, And So Is My Dingy.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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