Lunatic traffic warden has English village living in fear

Funny story written by nigmuncher

Thursday, 5 November 2009

image for Lunatic traffic warden has English village living in fear
Geoffrey Showboat yesterday

Britain's most hated Traffic Warden, Geoffrey Showboat, is in the headlines again.

Mr Showboat, 53, dubbed 'The Human Ticket Machine' has issued more than 20,000 tickets in this financial year, completely outstripping previous Olympic standard bastard, John Timberdoor's record, by 18,000 tickets.

Locals in the tiny village of Clittering, Northants, population 200, are living in fear of Mr Showboat.

One resident, Anthony Gormless, who wished to remain anonymous, told's reporter. "This man is a lunatic, and someone will have to stop him. Each resident has had approximately 100 tickets this year. He even broke into my garage one night and left a ticket on my windscreen stating that I had broken local bylaws by parking within 15ft of flammable materials. I questioned him about this, stating that there were no flammable materials in my garage, and you know what he said? Well, I'll tell you what he said. He said, and I quote, 'There's petrol in that there petrol tank, what's bolted to your vehicle. That's flammable, innit?'(sic) "

Local residents have indicated to the local council that they have passed the matter on to a higher authority, but a council spokesperson was reported as saying. 'We don't care if the Taliban come to Clittering or not, as long as they adhere to local parking regulations.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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