Ferguson complains of "squeeky bum"

Funny story written by foshizzle

Thursday, 5 November 2009

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Sir Alex Ferguson's famously coined catch-phrase may have come back to haunt him ahead of his teams much anticipated match at Stamford Bridge this weekend.

Often intended to denote a nervous time or period of the season for one or more football teams, the term "squeaky Bum" has become an essential part of footballing vocabulary for the last 5 years.

It was therefore with some astonishment that Fergie was believed to have confided to his closest aides, that his buttocks had been emitting a high pitched frequency ever since United's thrilling last minute equaliser against CSKA Moscow on Tuesday.

A member of Sir Alex' back room staff, who spoke on the condition of annonymity, provided the following information.

"Its a bit embarrassing really. When he first started saying squeeky bum, we all thought it was a bit of a joke and a laugh. Now its a serious problem. The team, coaches and other staff have to hold themselves back from laughing whenever we hear his bum squeek. It sounds like somebody squelching in dog poo. We've even been banned from using the phrase".

It has been revealed Ferguson will have several sessions with his private physician to try and specify the cause of this condition and treat it as soon as possible.

"If Alex goes to shake Carlo's (Ancelloti) hand on the weekend and the Chelsea bench hear that, they'll all take it as a sign of fear".

When asked for his reaction to the episode, Arsenal Manager Arsene Wenger only had one sentence to add.

"Karma is a b*tch"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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