Hollywood Moguls Beat A Path To Spoof Writer Morse's Door To Buy Up Rights To Pirate Story
Spoof writer, Morse, may have bitten off more than he can chew today when he agreed to kickstart a Spoof writers extravaganza with his pirate story concept. Hollywood producers have been knocking the shit out of Morse's front door in a bid to secu...
Read full storyLimbaugh Gets Lanced
Rush Limbaugh, the mouth of the Republican party, was rushed to the hospital to have a large boil removed from his buttocks. It seems that after a 12 course meal at his favorite restaurant, Porkers R Us he became irritated and squirmed in his seat un...
Read full storyTerrotorial Fights Break Out as Middle Class Fights for Housing Under Nation's Bridges!
Everywhere, USA/ National Housing & Realtor News/ Trend Section - It is now official: the US is in a depression, and a class struggle to secure basic shelter and a minimum of sustenance has supplanted the quest for upward mobility among the nati...
Read full storyHarry Potter Actress Emma Watson Accepted at University in America
Actress Emma Watson, who plays Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter film series, has been accepted for the fall to study at a University in the United States. The actress has also been accepted to a University in England, but says that attending bot...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth a Virgin
It has been claimed that Queen Elizabeth 2 is a virgin queen. For some time there have been rumours but it is only now that relevant documents have been made available. It is believed that Prince Philip tried to consummate the marriage, but it was...
Read full storyWoman that swallowed engagement ring in milkshake says she's carrying on a family tradition
Farmington, New Mexico - "I mean the ring was pretty big. But in all honesty, I've seen her put bigger things in her mouth and swallow them," said a fellow sorority sister and friend of Kaitlin Whipple, the women that swallowed her engagement ring th...
Read full storyAshlee Simpson Tired Of Defending Jessica's Weight Gain
DALLAS - Ashlee Simpson, younger sister of Jessica Simpson told Barbara Walters that it was not right how every single day she has to keep hearing and reading about her sister's weight gain in the media. She said that she was fed up with all the a...
Read full storyRival Chefs In Kitchen Sabotage Scandal
Two of the leading celebrity chefs in Britain were involved in a furious and potentially violent battle. Police belive that sabotage may have been involved. Rivalry between Harry Bummital. the retro chef with the glasses, and Gordon Scottish, the wel...
Read full storyAlgerian Man Wants To Buy Jade Goody For Two Camels
A man in the Algerian city of Oran has said he wants to buy the English girl Jade Goody and he has offered to pay two camels in compensation to her new husband Jack Twede. Mr Tweed is a felon and has agreed the price. Kazim Haddad who is a rich...
Read full storyChampions Stripped Of Crown
Following shocking revelations of cheating, backhanders and downright foul play Manchester United have been stripped of the title they were about to win. The nation has watched as they pulled away into an unassailable lead. But referee Jeremy Paxo ha...
Read full storyEconomy Airline may charge for air
'Low' cost airline Bryanair is to start charging customers for oxygen. The firm's abrasive chief Paddy O'Leary told reporters Bryanair's plans to "cut fares down to pence" would come with passengers forced to pay for traditionally free services.
Read full storyBeatie Strikes Again
The confidence trickster and professional thief known only as Beatie has struck again. Sid Bonkers, an 83 year old war veteran and former charity volunteer who loves children and puppies is the latest victim. "I just needed some batteries for my...
Read full storyDoctor's Remove A Woman's Kidney Through Her Vagina
BALTIMORE - A surgical team at John Hopkins Medical Center recently removed a woman's healthy kidney through her vagina. This operation is the world's first such kidney transplantation of its kind. Dr. Hickory Boston Kettledrum, who performed...
Read full storyBin Men ARE Bone Idle Claims Hampshire Resident
Hampshire resident Clayton LeMoors sparked further controversy today by telling TheSpoof.com that the bin men who are "supposed" to empty the bins down his street are no better than a bunch of work shy skivers. LeMoors, originally from Zimbabwe bu...
Read full storyJade Goody Fanclub To Take Legal Action
Members of the Jade Goody fanclub have voiced their concerns over, what have been described as 'insensitive comments' made towards their idol on a satirical news website, and may take legal action, it's been reported. TheSpoof.com, the site in que...
Read full storyBin Men Are Not Bone Idle Say Binmen's Union
The National Union Of Bin Men today reacted angrily to reports that bin men were bone idle and that they 'couldn't be bothered' to empty half of the bins on their rounds. With bins now being emptied fortnightly, the consequences of having an unemp...
Read full storySeagull 6 defended in court
A flock of seagulls - 'The Seagull 6' - appeared in court today in West London, charged with 'being the most pointless and annoying animals on the planet.' Speaking for the prosecution, Sir Barack Roomlawyer QC said: 'I put it to you, the accused,...
Read full storyBrobama Schedules Weekly White House Concerts
WASHINGTON D.C. - President Barack Obama has promised that he will continue with his weekly Wednesday White House concerts. Brobama told a reporter for Rolling Stone Magazine that by booking these concerts is a way for him to achieve his goal of h...
Read full storyMr. Jindal's Neighborhood
Hi boys and girls. My name is Bobby Jindal and I'm speaking to you from the governor's mansion in Baton Rouge. Isn't that a really big staircase behind me! I'm here tonight to talk about what President Barack Obama just said in his speech to the joint session of Congress. President Obama is a good man but he's been corrupted by Washington politicians like Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. Yuck, jus...
Read full storyClown school accused of 'dumbing down'!
A damning, cross party, political report dismisses clown school as a waste of taxpayer's money. Experts have collectively accused Clown school of 'dumbing down' and wasting time on literacy, numeracy, science, languages, and humanities when students...
Read full storySurprise Asteroid Just Went By, Nearly Killing A Million Or So
A small asteroid buzzed by Planet Earth Monday, though only the astronomy geeks in the Pacific noticed. The rock, estimated to be approximate 200 feet wide, zoomed past our planet at an altitude of 40,000 miles at 1:44 p.m. universal time - or 8:4...
Read full story'Princess Diana waiting to welcome Jade!' Says College of Psychic Studies mystic
London - (Spiritualist Ass Mess): Princess Diana heads the Welcome Jade! housewarming committee, London publicist Max Clifford told a press conference today. Clifford, 69, said he has it on 'very good authority' from London College of Sidekick Stu...
Read full storyBrenda Song, Rob Pattinson to appear nude on Magazine Cover
Teen queen, Brenda Song and Twilight star Rob Pattinson are reportedly set to appear nude on the cover of a magazine. Song's front will be covered with a bed sheet, but her bare back will be fully exposed. Pattinson on the other hand may appear fully...
Read full storyCash Machines Increasingly Used by Criminals
Figures released today show that criminal gangs are using Cash Machines all over the UK. Innocent members of the public are being tricked into giving over their hard earned money to these criminals, and then these same criminals are using cash m...
Read full storyLos Angeles County Declares Cuss-Free Week, No Shit
There may be an eerie silence in the nation's most populous county this week; it will simply be the sound of 10 million people not cussing, according to the Los Angeles Times. At least that's the result McKay Hatch is hoping for once his campaign...
Read full storyGoodwin Pension Problem Solved
Ministers were celebrating today after Harriet Harman found a way to stop Sir Fred Goodwin from taking his £693,000 per year pension. The issue had been a thorny one for the government because ministers had been complicit in the deal which led to Si...
Read full storyJoran Van der Sloot Named Spokesman for Mexican Spring Break PR Campaign!
Cancun,Mexico/ Missing Persons News & Travel Alert Bulletin - A spokesman for the beleaguered Mexican Travel Bureau announced today a multi-million Peso ad campaign to encourage spring breakers to continue to flock to it's blood stained beaches.
Read full storyNew coinage
The Royal Mint are to bow to public pressure and produce new coinage with the values printed on them in Polish and Urdu as well as English. "One of the big complaints we have," said Royal Mint chief designer Ted Pounds, "is that the non-English sp...
Read full storyOn this day in 2007: Lily Allen
The Third of March 2007 has gone down in history as the day that Lily Allen discovered swearing and decided to make it her career. Now, two years later, she has carved out a name for herself in the popular swearing industry by ensuring that most o...
Read full storyRoad Safety Campaign
In a multi-billion pound effort to reduce unemployment and put an end to road rage, the UK Government has decided to implement changes on British roads. "After a six year study," said Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, "we have determined the major...
Read full storyDoctor says that laughing will cause cancer
A Boston MD has reported in the latest medical journals that excessive laughing will cause cancer in the small intestine and even the liver. The medico, who refused to be identified lest people laugh at his findings (thus bringing on premature te...
Read full storyGloom Strikes Merseytown As Manchester United Win Another Trophy
The doom clouds gathered over a despondent Merseytown yesterday as arch rivals Manchester United notched up yet another trophy win at Wembley stadium, beating Tottenham Hotspur in a penalty shoot out. Should Manchester United, under the Govanershi...
Read full storyReport: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds
More problems arose today for the nation's beleaguered banks when it was revealed that all of their Automated-Teller Machines are not actually sorry that you have insufficient funds. The shocking revelation was outlined in a report released by the FS...
Read full storyBritain's Starred "The Fat Duck" Closes After Food Poisoning Scare
Britain's Daily Telegraph says celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal has temporarily shut down his Michelin-starred restaurant amid a food poisoning scare. The newspaper says Saturday that Blumenthal shut down The Fat Duck after dozens of guests report...
Read full storyFrench Film Industry Honors Dustin Hoffman, Sean Penn
The French film industry honored Dustin Hoffman and saluted Sean Penn Friday during a ceremony that saw its coveted Jerry Lewis for best film going to Martin Provost's "Seraphine." In all, "Seraphine" took seven Jerry Lewises, the French equivalent o...
Read full storySecretary of State Hillary Clinton Admits Few Mistakes On Taxes
After three former Obama nominees for offices in his government asked to be excused after remembering they hadn't paid a few hundred thousand in income taxes, Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton confessed to making a few silly mistakes, totally unint...
Read full storyFlash mob Morph
A Farcebook organised flash mob outside London's Tate Modern art gallery ended in tears yesterday. The flas hmob was to celebrate the life and works of Children's TV presenter and artist, Tony Hart who died earlier this year, with every Morph in t...
Read full storyWoW to be Class A Drug
Popular computer game World of Warcraft is more addictive than cocaine, experts have warned. In a report by Sweden's Youth Care Foundation, addiction therapists have described it as 'the most dangerous game on the market', pointing to the case of...
Read full storyMrs Rabbit investigated
Mrs Rabbit, the single mother left in charge of Peter Rabbit is to be investigated by Children's Services in Cumbria. The Rabbit family shot to fame when their plight was dramatised by the author Beatrix Potter. "Mrs Rabbit is struggling to bri...
Read full storyBelgians Invented Boycott
The world of cricket was rocked today by claims that Geoffrey Boycott was actually invented by the Belgians. Professor H. Owzat, of Cambridge University, has uncovered evidence that he believes proves Boycott's Belgian origins. It has always been bel...
Read full storyLee strikes back with a new hope for black cinema: Controversial director takes on "space racists"
The filmmaker Spike Lee has announced that his next project will be a new Star Wars movie. Speaking at a press screening for his latest release, Miracle at St. Anna, he described the popular sci-fi series as "one of the most deleterious cultural arte...
Read full storySinger Back From Long Holiday
The famous singer and drug addict Whiny Shithouse has returned from her 500 day holiday in the Caribbean. Looking like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards (surely looking tanned and rested?) Shithouse was reintroduced to her family at Gatpor...
Read full storyObama Transparency: Misunderstood Gitmo Detainees Disappear In Plain Sight Reappear in UK!
Guantanamo,Cuba/ London, England / International Terrorist Travel News - In keeping with President Obama's pledge of Transparency, likened to an invisible moving hand, Attorney General Eric Holder flew under the radar today landing in Gitmo in order...
Read full storyInnovations Catalogue Item No 3
The Never Ending Toilet Roll. Yes buying toilet paper will be a thing of the past! Now all you need is one toilet roll. As you reach the last sheet of paper just drop the roll in a bowl of lukewarm water and hey presto! A full roll of toilet paper. Yes with the Never Ending Toilet Roll you will never feel that dreaded panic again. Guaranteed labrador puppy repellant too.
Read full storyInnovations Catalogue Item No 2
The Inflatable Me. Ideal for those who have been invited to two parties on the same night. Just inflate with the handy electric pump (batteries not supplied) and hey presto there's two of you. Send the inflatable me to one party and you go to the other. Want a day off work, but not got any holiday time left? Easy. Just send the inflatable me to work in your place. Chances are all your colleague...
Read full storySchools face discipline ban
Bloomberg,Reuters & others (yawn) - Schools across England & Wales face a blanket ban on pupil disciplne according to a new report released today. As a result of pressure on the government from inspectors. Teachers were described as 'too in y...
Read full storyInnovations Catalogue Item No 1
Got a dispute with one of your neighbors? Then why not nuke the bastard with this handy missile. The Nasty Neighbor Destructor comes in a choice of three nifty colours-white, sunset red or jet black. It's so easy to assemble. And you can launch it from your own garden. Yes the Nasty Neighbor Destructor will make disputes about car parking a thing of the past. Just key in the seven digit launch...
Read full storyGovernment Introduces Retrospective Pensions Law
Leader of the House of Commons Harridan Harperson has said that it is unacceptable that members of the Proletariat should have personal pensions, following the outcry over the massive payout to former RBS chairman Sir Fred Goodwin. Speaking on the...
Read full storySeigfried and Roy's last show ends in disaster
Seigfried and Roy, the gay tiger-baiting entertainers, have performed their final show in a sleazy hotel lobby in Las Vegas. They returned for a one-off special after a six year break following Roy's mauling by a tiger. It was a typical spectacula...
Read full storyUniversity Challenge in Fake Student Scandal
The shocking news that one of the members of the winning team in this year's university challenge was 'not a student but really an accountant' has put the program's future at risk. Colin Hamster claimed to be studying chemistry at St Richkids Coll...
Read full storyThousands Of Scots Heading South Of The Border
Scotland could soon be deserted following the announcement by their government to raise the price of alcohol. Fears that the national pastime of drinking and fighting might become obsolete has forced action. Protesters and alcoholics marched over the...
Read full storyMorph Tribute: Thousands Arrested For Flashing
A tribute to the artist Tony Fart and his creation Morph got out of hand yesterday. Thousands of fans exposed themselves outside the Tate Modern. Tourists from all over the world mistook the protests for a new exhibition. It is thought that the or...
Read full storyNOLA's SlumpDawg Jim-dall Adrift with Huck-abee on the Mighty Mississip
Two Republicant innocents found themselves adrift on the mighty Mississippi in search of a mooring, an identity and a safe harbor. Brown Jim-dall had made some good progress in the white man's world until they fed him to the wolves in a mission impos...
Read full storyJesus Forgives Judas Ruining Passion Plays Across Christendumb
Lenten Passion plays across the Christian world attract tourist and tourism's dollars, Euros and even Asian visitors with a yuan for crucifixions. Most of the dramatic reenactments of the final days of the Jesus myth, like the gospels, pays special a...
Read full storyAmerican Amnesiacs Flock to "Out of Australia" and other Escapist Ripoffs
Americans deep in the doldrums over lost jobs, homes and investments have seeking refuge in the dark cover of the movie theater and have been losing themselves in the flickering lights of the cinema. Throngs have buttoned up their economic overcoat t...
Read full storyGod Gives Up Acts of God for Lent This Year
The billions of people whose lives get disrupted, sometimes maimed and even terminated by acts of god like hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, fallen trees, meteors, airplanes and flocks of geese will be relieved to learn that God has announced that acts...
Read full storyScotts scratch scotch
GLASGOW, Scotland - Scottish sots held a drive-a-thong to cut sots alcohol abuse. Drinking, scantily-clad, driving ministers screamed that action was needed to reform the Scottish drinking culture, as they careened by, honking, belching and weaving.
Read full storyWHBO Sanctions First Bout
Washington D.C. - The newly created WHBO (White House Boxing Office) has sanctioned its first fight between Rahm Emmanuel and Howard Dean on March 5, 2009. President Obama okay'd the bout this morning, despite rumors that he is going ahead with appoi...
Read full storyDean Windass Recalled From Oldham To Rescue Hull City Again
Dean Windass, the Hull City striker who scored the famous Wembley goal that took the Tigers into the Premier League for the first time in their history, is to be recalled from his loan spell at Oldham Athletic in a bid to save the team from certain r...
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