Lee strikes back with a new hope for black cinema: Controversial director takes on "space racists"

Funny story written by Alun Richards

Monday, 2 March 2009

The filmmaker Spike Lee has announced that his next project will be a new Star Wars movie. Speaking at a press screening for his latest release, Miracle at St. Anna, he described the popular sci-fi series as "one of the most deleterious cultural artefacts in the American minority ethnic experience" and likened its creator, George Lucas, to the Nazi director Leni Riefenstahl. "We got our president," he said, "now it's time to take down the real hate machine."

Lee's film, provisionally entitled Buffalo Jedi, will focus on the experiences of the first black man to be inducted into the mystical order of Jedi Knights. Following him from his childhood on a ghetto planet to his enlistment as an agent of the Republic (the intergalactic government), it will examine the conflicts he faces as he attempts to advance without abandoning his cultural identity.

"He's going to shine a light on the brutality and indifference that the Star Wars powers-that-be heap on the racial underclass," explained the director. "His lightsaber is going to be black, they got the technology for that now, and it's going to cleave one hell of a lot of freedom-hating gnarly white ass."

Clint Eastwood, who clashed with Lee last year after his film Flags of Our Fathers came under attack for not featuring African American characters, has also declared an interest in the series. In a recent interview he indicated that he would like "to do something with Koreans, just Koreans. A whole planet-full of f***ing Koreans, waving flags and just having a great time."

If the two filmmakers decide to pursue these projects, they will be going head-to-head with a selection of Hollywood big-hitters, including Martin Scorsese, Baz Luhrmann and David Lynch, all of whom have outlined distinctive personal visions for the Star Wars universe.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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