Following shocking revelations of cheating, backhanders and downright foul play Manchester United have been stripped of the title they were about to win. The nation has watched as they pulled away into an unassailable lead. But referee Jeremy Paxo had suspected for some time that Carlos Tevez may not be a bona fide member of the team. Further investigations have proved this to be true.
Lord Alex of Windbag, manager and head bully of Manchester United, declared the decision to be a "load of shit". Meanwhile Carlos Tevez's agent was thought to negotiating for his client to join Real Madrid in time for the Spanish University Challenge season.
Meanwhile it has been decided that the championship be handed to Fulham. A spokesperson for their fanclub said "Only in my dreams".