Economy Airline may charge for air

Funny story written by dannline

Monday, 2 March 2009

image for Economy Airline may charge for air
This is not Bryanair: note how pleasant it looks

'Low' cost airline Bryanair is to start charging customers for oxygen.

The firm's abrasive chief Paddy O'Leary told reporters Bryanair's plans to "cut fares down to pence" would come with passengers forced to pay for traditionally free services.

While paying for tickets, customers will have to also have the option pay for oxygen.

"Customers have a choice. They can breathe fresh Irish mountain air, bring their own or hold their breaths.

"We will also sell £3 plastic bags they can fill before boarding and inhale from during flights. Non-Bryanair bags will not be allowed for safety reasons."

The cost of oxygen will range from £12 for short flights to £45 for mid-haul destinations.

"Customers will welcome the choice and low fares," O'Leary grutted.

Staffing levels will also be cut on flights with snacks and £1.50 tiny cans of coke sold at vending machines.

Passengers will also receive up to 15 per cent discounts on tickets if they are prepared to fly the planes themselves.

Mr O'Leary denied plans for forcing customers to bring their own fuel and aircraft.

Bryanair will continue to charge a mandatory hope fee and unusually high credit card/debit card/any payment fees, along with setting travel insurance as a default option when booking, tricking thousands into buying cover they do not need.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more