Spoof Writer Admitted To Clinic Following Humiliating Chess defeat
It has just been announced that Spoof writer Skoob1999 has been admitted to the Priority Clinic in north London following a humiliating chess defeat by fellow Spoof writer Monkey Woods, which was witnessed by 39 million on line viewers. Skoob1999...
Read full story'Kung Fu' Star Dies Practicing 'Forbidden Mantis' Technique
HOLLYWOOD, CA - American actor Billy Killadeen was found dead in his hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand today according to a report by Thai police. Though his career as an actor began in the mid-60's, Killadeen became popular in the 70's for his wo...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Wants To Meet Shaheen Jafargholi
GARY, Indiana - Gary, Indiana's most famous native, Michael Jackson has told his manager that he wants to meet Britain's Got Talent contestant Shaheen Jarfargholi. The "Gloved One" said that he was impressed with the 12-year-old wonderboy from Wal...
Read full story'A Study Of A Harlot'
'Very mysterious thing happened to me on the way home today', Dr Watson said to Sherlock Holmes, lighting his pipe with a flame-thrower, 'I saw that harlot at the end of the street again today.' 'Really?' 'Yes, but the odd thing was that she wasn't begging for money, or - ahem - anything else, but wanted to give me her money! What can it mean, Holmes?' 'I think I know of the tiny, little, rag-h...
Read full storyBarack Obama invents the telephone
As US President Barack Obama flew across the Atlantic yet again, he suddenly had a brainwave, and invented the modern telephone. 'I thought 'What if I could have a machine that would allow me stay in Washington DC, yet still speak with world leade...
Read full storyLike Bruce Lee, Was Grasshopper Killed Over Revealing Kung Fu Secrets?
American actor David Carradine has been found dead, hanging by a nylon rope in a hotel room closet in Bangkok, Thailand, according a Thai police official and picked up by every US news site. David Carradine became famous in the 1970s after starrin...
Read full storyUK Overrun By Chicken Plague
The vast majority of the population of England is barricaded in the south today, as a seemingly unstoppable wave of poultry sweeps through the country. Similar reports are coming in from the rest of the UK- Scotland has evacuated to the Orkneys, Irel...
Read full storyFriends Say Pitt & Angie Definitely Splitting Up
Friends of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now saying that the mega-star couple are headed for a nasty breakup and if it goes to court, Brad will seek full custody of their six kids. It looks like the fairy tale romance is finally over as Brad i...
Read full storyQ&A : The 2009 Euro elections
Q&A : The 2009 Euro elections Why do I vote? Ain't got a clue, mate, nobody knows what MEPs do or who they are How do I vote? Take a pencil, and write an 'X' against the candidate you want to vote for, moron What am I voting for? An even bigger gravy train than the one at Westminster, MEPs get paid a small fortune for doing absolutely bugger all Who is standing for electio...
Read full storyUma Thurman Arrested
Hollywood star Uma Thurman has been arrested on suspicion of murder, according to police reports today. The actress, star of 'Pulp Fiction', was detained this afternoon at Phuket International Airport in Thailand, as she attempted to board a fligh...
Read full storySpoof writers form new "Loony, Non-Political, Headbanging Party" for contesting next GB election!
The UK is preparing for the most astonishing non-political revolution, which will change the face of Britain forever. Some Spoof writers are totally fucked off with corrupt politicians, weak policing, crime, gays, Iraq, Afghanistan, poverty, the r...
Read full storyFears Expressed For Mental Health Of London Mayor, Boris Johnson
Staffers today expressed concerns over the mental health of London Mayor, Boris Johnson, after he dived into a river in Lewisham screaming that he was gagging for some fish. Johnson, present to promote an environmental initiative relating to clean...
Read full storyCharlie Dimmock's Nipples Spark Diplomatic Incident
Pakistan today threatened to cut off all diplomatic relations with Britain if plans to screen 'Ground Force' on a Pakistani cable TV channel go ahead. The objections are believed to be based on Ground Force's Charlie Dimmock's nipples, and the fac...
Read full storyJulie Burchill Is A Big Brother Watching Moron Claims Man In The Street
Faded rock journo Julie Burchill came in for a critical mauling from a man in the street today after she claimed in a tabloid newspaper that Big Brother was essential TV viewing, and that the critics who took the piss out of the show were just jealou...
Read full storyMr Blobby tells All
To most of us normal folk,"Blobby, blobby, blobb, blobby" means a language we can not understand.To Katie Price however, it means someone hates you. In an interview in 'Weird Magazine' about his new fitness DVD,Mr Blobby was asked an irrelevant qu...
Read full storyShocking Conan O'Brian skit features Adam Lambert on The Tonight Show
In an appalling lapse of security at NBC, our source that will remain anonymous inside The Tonight Show, uncovered this inflammatory script from a 'lost' file inside the new office of Conan O'Brian. The skit heavily features the runner up on FOX'...
Read full storyAdam Lambert and the Wholly Gay
INTERIOR ROOM IN CASTLE TOWER - DAY A young, attractive ADAM LAMBERT is gazing out of a castle window. JOE JERVIS, gay rights activist and blogger, uncuffs Adam's hands and looks out the window too. JOE JERVIS: One day, Lambert, all this will be yours ... ADAM LAMBERT: What - the curtains? JOE JERVIS: Not the curtains, Lambert ... All that ... (indicates the vista from the window) a...
Read full storySusan Boyle's Boyfriend Decks Simon Cowell!
The whole future relationship between Simon Cowell and Susan Boyle may have changed yesterday after Susan's boyfiend, Helmut Glaser reportedly decked "Britain Has Talent" judge Simon Boyle. A worker at the clinic where Boyle has been recuperating...
Read full storyBNP Reduced to Begging for Cash
Documents leaked to me have revealed that the far-right British Nazi National Party are so desperately short of funds that they have resorted to begging. BNP organisers have sent members emails with desperate pleas for small donations, and memos h...
Read full storyBig Brother Contestants Will Have To Use Garden Toilet
As the new series of Big Brother prepares to launch, it seems the contestants are in for a bit of a shock. They may be expecting to walk into the usual Big Brother house, with furniture, beds, good food and luxury bathrooms, but in the initial stage...
Read full storyParis Hilton Embarrassed?
Universal City, CA - Yes, we all know now that the stunt pulled between comedian Sasha Baren Cohen and rap star Eminem at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards was staged. So staged, in fact, that both parties rehearsed the stunt beforehand to make sure it woul...
Read full storyRoyal Banksy of Scotland probed as 'Grim Reaper' crop circle appears on Buckingham Palace lawn
London - (Signs & Portents Ass Mess): Mystery street artist Royal Banksy of Scotland is the top official suspect following the appearance of an ominous Grim Reaper crop circle on the lawn of Buckingham Palace. The sight of the cosmic etching i...
Read full storyEverything must go!
For Sale : One Labour Party, many previous owners. Current owner about to become unemployed, needs quick sale. Comes with endless free holidays, travel, meals, trees, horse manure, and Hazel Blears. Was red coloured, now white, or pinkish from a distance. Serious problem with rust needs attention. 2 free pornographic movies thrown in for nothing, no capital gains tax needed on purchase of...
Read full story2009: A Disgrace Odyssey
[Scene:a space ship near the planet Venus] 'Hal, give me the co-ordinates of our destination.' '10:11, W1, 54N' 'Start trajectory course at once.' 'Trajectory initialised.' 'Italics off.' 'Confirmed.' 'Where are we going, Mr Spark?' 'We are going to meet the leader of the Labori, and his assistant reptiles Hazy and Jaki, on the planet Troff.' [Strauss waltz music begins] 'And turn tha...
Read full storyBurnley FC Get Changing Rooms Team In
After being told that their facilities don't meet Premiership standards, Premiership new boys Burnley FC are to call in the BBC Changing Rooms team, in a bid to get the work done on the cheap. "We're just a small town club," a Burnley Official tol...
Read full storyEminem Wanted To Eat My Kugelsack Claims Bruno/Borat/Ali G
Bruno/Borat/Ali G star Sacha Baron Cohen last night branded rapper Eminem 'a big gayboy fruitcake.' He went on to say that the stunt at the MTV Movie Awards, where he was lowered onto the rapper with his butt in his face was all a put up job. "It...
Read full storyPost Office to Add Delivery to List of Services Offered
The United States Postal Service has announced that starting July 1st, it will begin offering delivery of mail as a service to it's customers. The service, to be phased in gradually, over a period of years, is expected to win widespread support and i...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com about to end Gordo the Clown's career
Having already ended the careers of American President George W Bush and UK Premier Tony Blair, TheSpoof.com was able to confidently predict yet another of its victims in advance - British Prime Minister Gordo the Clown. 'We've got so good at harp...
Read full storySpoof writers demand to write their articles on naked models
Following the recent Esquire magazine cover which showed a naked supermodel adorned with the title and first 48 words of Stephen King's latest novel, there has been a call by writers at TheSpoof.com for a new feature on the site. They are demandin...
Read full storyPattinson And Stewart Are Also Confusing Fans
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and their stunt doubles may have done too good of a job as they're now confusing their own fans by out-thinking the press. Perhaps it would also help to call a news conference before these guys get so upset they will turn against them. If you think the Paparazzi are mixed up, check this bit of recent fan dialogue someone has sent out, after copying parts of...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Tries To Purchase A Husband With A Speedboat?
Jessica Simpson gave boyfriend Tony Romo a nautical 28th birthday last month as she treated the Dallas Cowboy football star to a $100,000 speedboat. The singer unveiled the gift at a special party at the pair's Dallas, Texas, home, reports the National Enquirer. And the quarterback was delighted with the custom-made gift. A source tells the tabloid, "Jessica knows that Tony has always wanted...
Read full storyMan With World's Smallest Penis Has Penis Envy
It's not easy being the man with the world's smallest penis! Penis Minus Wilson(Not his real name) told reporters that he had turned down an offer to appear on Oprah, "but it was nice to be asked." "What was I supposed to do, go in and sit down and tell everyone in America or the world that I pee all over the bathroom floor because my normal sized scrotum pushes his head up and he pees like...
Read full storyNew drinking game proves fatal
Santa Fe, NM - In what seemed to be a harmless drinking game, A handful of college students last night experienced the follies of drinking and firearms when 26 year old Chuff Miller fatally shot his friend 23 year old Bob Pricks. The victim was flown...
Read full storyBig Brother House Destroyed
Bet Big Brother never say this coming, as the brand new BB house went up in an exciting explosion last night. Crew were finising final touches in the kitchen,when young worker, Frank Spencer,23, accidentally caught a gas-pipe as he was hammering a na...
Read full storyPostal Votes Bring Record Election Turnout
With voting under way in the combined EU and Local Government Elections, early indications are of a record turnout from voters across the UK. Initial reports from counting rooms indicate that use of postal votes is at its highest since records beg...
Read full storyLabor day to Become Labrador Retriever Day
Labrador, Canada - A combination of fewer laborers and a sudden rise in the number of Labrador Retrievers has prompted the Obama Administration to change Labor day to Labrador Retriever day. "The exceptionally affable, gentle, intelligent, energet...
Read full storyNRA Pushes For Personal Atom Bombs For All Americans
The National Rifle Association unleashed its new campaign to allow all American citizens "Their God-given rights to own an atom bomb!". The public is being bombarded with television, newspaper, movie and billboard ads pushing the new 'right' that...
Read full storyGordon Brown Asks al-Qaida to Off Him
Labour Hard Partier, Gordon Brown has suffered so many hangovers from the personal and Labor Party excesses of recent years that he is seeking almost any way out. Brown has asked the Islamic extremist terror group, al-Qaida to put him out of his mise...
Read full storyOctuplets Mom To Wrestle Sextuplets Mom
DALLAS - ESPN has just signed the mother of octuplets to wrestle the mother of sextuplets in a regulation wrestling match. The wrestling match will take place in Dallas' StagecoachDome and is being billed as "The Battle of The Multiple-Birth Mothe...
Read full storyWitch Hazel Blears May be Banned from Parliament or Burned at the Stake
Communist secretary Hazel Blears woke up bleary eyed to find Londoners at her door with torches and crosses chanting, "burn her, she's a witch". Blears has insisted that all she has done was charge the taxpayers of John Bull's impoverished Island...
Read full storyObama and Saudi King Abdullah Do the Booty Bump
The controversy surrounding US President Obama's supposed bow to Saudi King Abdullah brought affirmations, denials and varied body language experts to bear on the reputed act of reverence. American conservatives, all three of them, insisted that...
Read full storyStraight up - Obama Be Meetin' Wid Da Top Crude Dude.
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia- President Obama arrived in at da Royal airpo't in Riyadh, Saudah' Arabia at around 2:20pm local time today. Da visit to Saudah' Arabia was a last minute addition to da schedule, ahead uh his heavily anticipated speech in Cai...
Read full storyIdeology Driven Software Studies Curricula Instituted
Washington DC: Gingrich Pelosi University (GPU) has instituted changes to their software (SW) development classes to be in conformance with prevailing political ideologies. As an example the basic software class, SW 101: Introduction to Software D...
Read full storyKristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson Could Have Died Tonight Says LAPD Spokesman
When we asked the LAPD if there was the remotest possibility that Twilight stars and teen idols Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattininson could have died tonight, we were met with a stony silence. When we insisted that we just wanted to know if it was a...
Read full storyRonnie Raygun Centennial Commission Act freakshow
London - (Sordid Ass Mess): Relatives of victims molested by Ronnie Raygun's 40 year rampage of Hollywood prepubescents remained poker-faced today with the announcement of the ultimate GOP/Dem freakshow, the Ronnie Raygun Centennial Commission Act.
Read full storyOctomom And The Portent Of The Giant Jellyfish Crop Circle
Wiltshire - (Fishy Tales Mess): Are alien implant transmissions from Octomom's vagina responsible? The sudden apparition in a Wiltshire rapeseed field of a gigantic jellyfish crop circle this week has left the CIA thunderfucked. The 250-metre p...
Read full story