Pakistan today threatened to cut off all diplomatic relations with Britain if plans to screen 'Ground Force' on a Pakistani cable TV channel go ahead.
The objections are believed to be based on Ground Force's Charlie Dimmock's nipples, and the fact that the TV presenter is a ginger.
A spokesman from the Pakistani embassy in London told us:
"We like gardening, but this isn't really about that. We love our water features as much as the next amateur gardener, but these re-runs of Ground Force appear to be all about Charlie Dimmock's nipples.
"They stick out like chapel hat pegs, them nipples do, and it's totally distracting for good Muslim men who only want to know about hydrangeas and geraniums. All we get is these bloody big nipples thrust in our faces, and it won't do. She's also a ginger, and that doesn't help."
A spokesman for Playguy TV told us:
"I guess that's a market we'll miss out on."
But one Pakistan born gentleman who we spoke to in Birmingham told us:
"I like Charlie Dimmock. Nipples like thimbles. Oh yes."
More boob related buffoonery when we get it.