Communist secretary Hazel Blears woke up bleary eyed to find Londoners at her door with torches and crosses chanting, "burn her, she's a witch".
Blears has insisted that all she has done was charge the taxpayers of John Bull's impoverished Island for rent on a cardboard refrigerator box outside Paddington station as if it were a high priced mansion at Kensington Square.
Before the scoff law knew it she had been scooped up by the mob and was about to be subjected to a test of witchery. The maddening crowd dragged her to the shores of the Thames and began a very confusing debate about what truly constitutes a witch.
There was a lot of blather about pointy noses, carrots and whether witches floated or not. Finally after Witch Hazel's barristers distributed fees to all involved, the community decided that its secretary was only a communist and not a witch but that she would have to surrender the cardboard box to the many homeless MP's in need of basic housing.