Big Brother Contestants Will Have To Use Garden Toilet

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Thursday, 4 June 2009

image for Big Brother Contestants Will Have To Use Garden Toilet
Oh, that's better!

As the new series of Big Brother prepares to launch, it seems the contestants are in for a bit of a shock. They may be expecting to walk into the usual Big Brother house, with furniture, beds, good food and luxury bathrooms, but in the initial stages they will be forced to endure very basic facilities.

The contestants have been kept out of circulation for the last few weeks, and will have no idea what to expect. After the first week, half will be evicted by viewer voting.

Today it was revealed that they will initially have to sleep on the floor, and the only toilet facilities will be a hole in the garden in full view of the cameras. Contestants wanting to wash will need to use cold water from a tin bath, and they will need to fill it using a bucket with a hole in it.

Of all the hardships they will face, the toilet hole is likely to prove the most controversial. There is no seat, but there will be a supply of toilet paper. Although it will be open to the other contestants and the viewers, there will be a small opaque glass 'modesty screen' which the toilet user can position as they see fit.

Once the first eviction has taken place, the remaining contestants will be given access to the usual house facilities, and the toilet hole will be removed.

The show, hosted by Davina McCall, kicks off at 2100 BST on Channel 4.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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