It's not easy being the man with the world's smallest penis!
Penis Minus Wilson(Not his real name) told reporters that he had turned down an offer to appear on Oprah, "but it was nice to be asked."
"What was I supposed to do, go in and sit down and tell everyone in America or the world that I pee all over the bathroom floor because my normal sized scrotum pushes his head up and he pees like a fountain?"
"Or if I stand up, I may grab a hair by mistake and go all over the front of my pants?"
"I tell you, I must spend a good part of my life standing in front of hand blow dryers trying to dry myself out before I come back out."
"I even have to downsize my condoms by hand with some special thread."
"Yes I am married but I have to put myself into those soft plastic regular-sized hollow things with a harness so I can give Myrtle a good time. Myrtle is the wife."
"At least at school I was known as 'Baylor High's Most Sweaty Student' because I had to avoid the showers at all costs."
"Oh I've got caught a few times but I just explain that it is an old war injury and that seems to satisfy everybody."
"So No, I'm not going on Oprah, even if she gives me a free car."