about to end Gordo the Clown's career

Funny story written by matwil

Thursday, 4 June 2009

image for about to end Gordo the Clown's career
The worst PM in living memory

Having already ended the careers of American President George W Bush and UK Premier Tony Blair, was able to confidently predict yet another of its victims in advance - British Prime Minister Gordo the Clown.

'We've got so good at harpooning these feeble, brainless, so-called leaders', one Spoof writer, Sir Cab Reshuffle said, 'it now saves time and energy just to bump 'em off before they resign. Gordo the Clown is finished, hopefully by this time tomorrow, the worst Prime Minister in living memory. Actually makes John Major and even the nauseating Tony Blair seem quite acceptable. OK, maybe not Blair.'

The Clown had been so bad as PM it became almost surreal, as Cabinet Minister after Cabinet Minister resigned on him, and the polls - technically not important in the UK - showed an almost impossibly quick drop in support for the Labour Government, while the Clown's own rating became non-existent.

'If anyone had said that a bland, faceless non-entity like me could possibly win the next General Election', Tory leader Boring Yawnathon said, 'the bookies would have been falling over themselves to take your money. But now, thanks to the slimy lizard the Clown, looks like I'm odds on to take the seat of Saint Margaret of Assisi, and of Sir Julian Birchill. Me, who makes John Major seem like an exciting, dynamic statesman and world leader!'

Gordo the Clown's resignation was inevitable, as the Labour Party, having betrayed most of its socialist supporters, then embarked on an orgy of fraud and corruption that wouldn't have shamed the east wing of Wandsworth Prison. And the Clown's affected, poncey change of accent became instantly embarrassing to millions of Britons, but especially to those in the area that the Clown hails from, the South East of Scotland.

'Thank goodness he's gone', said 450,000 traditional Labour Party supporters in that area, 'and that other embarrassing failure, Alistair Skunkling, too. The pair had hijacked the Labour Party, seemingly to try and destroy it, and when even Scots have had enough of such people they may as well phone up their nearest Job Centre now.'

'And everyone knows that the European elections aren't really about Europe, but are used by the public as an opinion poll regarding the Government. Before a single count has been made, we predict a massacre of Labour Party candidates. And of, course, the resignation of Gordo the Clown.'

Your nearest Job Centre is in Portobello High Street, Gordo. But I'd drop that poncey accent, if I was you. Pal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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