Vanessa Hudgens: A Beauty's Shocker.

Funny story: Vanessa Hudgens: A Beauty's Shocker.

Vanessa Hudgens, 20, hates filming sex scenes on camera. Why? Because she claims it makes her feel "gross". "I know I shocked everyone with my naughty nude photos but this is something totally different. You feel absolutely gross because it IS g...

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International sport floored by cricketer Kevin Pietersen

Funny story: International sport floored by cricketer Kevin Pietersen

At a training match in Leicestershire today, South African cricketer Kevin Pietersen floored international selection rules, and they were sent to the pavilion, out for a duck. 'The rills had become infit for even vegue siliction of internitional t...

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Giant octopus hampers French Airbus salvage sub

Funny story: Giant octopus hampers French Airbus salvage sub

Mid-Atlantic Ridge - (Tentacles Mess): A freakishly massive octopus has been spotted menacing the Brazilian Navy submarine sent to reconnoitre with wreckage of missing French Airbus 320. At one stage the huge beast attempted mounting the Tupi-clas...

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North Korea Sell Osama Nuke!

Funny story: North Korea Sell Osama Nuke!

Reports claim that North Korea has sold Osama Bin Laden a nuclear bomb. It has not been released about the amount that it was sold for, but estimates average at around $307 million US dollars. There have been great stresses on the N.Korean Governm...

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The Only True British Act On BGT - Prince Philip

Funny story: The Only True British Act On BGT - Prince Philip

BUCKINGHAM PALACE, London - HRH Prince Philip has rendered his opinion on the talent show, Britain's Got Talent, and he thinks it blows. Speaking for the first time to the media regarding BGT, Prince Philip says he is shocked at the attention a s...

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Gareth Barry To Earn £80,000-A-Week

Funny story: Gareth Barry To Earn £80,000-A-Week

There was extreme anger tonight in a West Midlands living room, when it was discovered, by listening to my radio, that the England midfielder, Gareth Barry, who has left Aston Villa for Manchester City, will be earning around £80,000-a-week at Eastla...

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Obama wants Lulu as next World Bank leader

Funny story: Obama wants Lulu as next World Bank leader

WASHINGTON, DC - There was some cause for concern today amongst world bankers, or at least world bankers that were still employed, as Barack Obama reportedly tapped Lulu, Scottish born singer-songwriter, actress, model and television personality, to...

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Gordon Brown will join Britains Got Talent street dance group 'Diversity' and fight the BNP

Funny story: Gordon Brown will join Britains Got Talent street dance group 'Diversity' and fight the BNP

Gordon Brown the puppet Prime Minister of Britain, last night checked into the 'Priory' Hospital for loony celebrities- in an adjoining room to Susan Boyle before he embarked on a week long training session with street dance 'effnik' group 'Diversit...

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"Big Papi" Missing

Funny story: "Big Papi" Missing

Boston, Massachussetts: Boston Red Sox slugger David "Big Papi" Ortiz was declared missing yesterday at exactly 3:15 P.M. He was last seen after the Red Sox postponed game versus the Oakland Athletics in Boston. Local police think he was captu...

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"Bikini Girl" Asks Adam Lambert To Marry Her

Funny story: "Bikini Girl" Asks Adam Lambert To Marry Her

HOLLYWOOD - Katrina Darrell, aka "Bikini Girl" has admitted that yes, she has in fact asked American Idol winner, ah make that runnerup, Adam Lambert, to marry her. Kit Kat as her grandmother calls her said that she was sitting at a Chick Fil-A in...

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Susan Boyle Embarks On 'Nuthouse Tour'

Funny story: Susan Boyle Embarks On 'Nuthouse Tour'

It's been announced that Susan Boyle, the Scottish singing sensation who finished second in last weekend's Britain's Got Talent show, will next week embark upon her first nationwide tour - of Britain's mental institutions. Boyle, 48, was the runne...

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Obama is stuffed right up his black Opel Butt and left with an obese GM!

Funny story: Obama is stuffed right up his black Opel Butt and left with an obese GM!

Failing to jump on board the lost Air France flight headlines Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach infiltration army) has decided to report on another lost cause, giant panda, GM! Yesterday "The Black Messiah" and his disciples launched the saviour package...

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Esther's Teeth - Shock refusal to stand

The faded television personality Esther Rantzen has unexpectedly withdrawn from her (doomed) quest to become an M.P. following a shock refusal from her teeth to be party to this charade. Calling a shock news conference to deliver the shock news her...

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Pattinson, Stewart And Stunt Doubles Having Fun

Funny story: Pattinson, Stewart And Stunt Doubles Having Fun

It's always fun to get your own back after being hunted all the time by the paparazzi and Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are driving the reporters nuts. Furthermore, several other stars are keeping an eye on the situation to see what they can d...

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Kerry Katona to replace Susan Boyle in Britains Got Talent Tour!

Funny story: Kerry Katona to replace Susan Boyle in Britains Got Talent Tour!

Former Atomic Kitten songster Kerry Katona,12, will be replacing Susan Boyle on the forth-coming 'Britain's Got Talent Tour'. Simon Cowell Prime Minister of Britain who was at Downing Street this morning shouting at Gordon Brown in a disapproving...

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Kim Jong-il's Son To Be Next Leader Of North Korea

Funny story: Kim Jong-il's Son To Be Next Leader Of North Korea

Kim Jong-il's third son, Kim Jong Yung-un is to become North Korea's next leader. Born in the early 1980's, Yung-un was not thought to fit the mold of the average communist dictator slash tyrant. "Actually if you think of it in American terms, ou...

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Oxfordshire PCT's morality 'has been found'

Funny story: Oxfordshire PCT's morality 'has been found'

Oxfordshire PCT announced today that the organisation has found its morals that it had lost some time ago. The lost morals were said to have been kept on a Pound Stretcher USB stick which was lost when left in the back of a black cab some years back.

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Premier League team signs Susan Boyle

Funny story: Premier League team signs Susan Boyle

English football side, Aston Villa, have signed Scottish "magpie" Susan Boyle to a three year contract. It appears that after finishing second on the Britain's Got Talent TV programme, Boyle has been left out in the cold, with no commercial entic...

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Greedy politicians to fight for their jobs in 'MP's got talent'

Funny story: Greedy politicians to fight for their jobs in 'MP's got talent'

As you probably will have heard, there has been much hoo-ha to do with MP's expenditure in Britain. Members of parliament have been spending money on such things as second homes, electric gates and dog food (It was bought from Sainsbury's if that is...

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Ashley Cole Injured

Funny story: Ashley Cole Injured

Ashley Cole has been badly injured in a brutal attack.The footballer was running with the ball in a match against Chelsea and Newcastle.When suddenly out of nowhere,Newcastle manager,Alan Shearer ran out onto the field and attacked him.Shearer was ai...

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Man Swallowed by Whale Calls Wife

A fisherman and his crew set sail from the coast of Gibralter in the early evening on the 1st June 2009. Heading off for a night time fishing expedition, spirits were high as The Rock dissapeared into the mist behind them. Suddenly, without warning there was a loud bang followed by a deep scraping sound. 'We've run aground' the captians shouted. The crew, mainly comprising of tourists,...

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Britain's Got Taleban!

Funny story: Britain's Got Taleban!

Off the back of the massive success of Britain's Got Talent, a new spin off show was announced today which will be launched in the autumn to find Britain's next big radical extremist Muslim. Auditions for the show called "Britain's Got Taleban" wi...

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Birth of Two-headed Lamb Sparks Revival in Kansas

Funny story: Birth of Two-headed Lamb Sparks Revival in Kansas

WICHITA, KS - Last week, a very average sheep known only as D1001457 gave birth to a healthy but very slow, very clumsy two-headed lamb. Perhaps this extremely rare occurrence should be expected to come as a surprise, but not as much of one as the...

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Oxfordshire PCT 'bring in chimps'

Funny story: Oxfordshire PCT 'bring in chimps'

It was confirmed today that Oxfordshire PCT has contracted in help from four male and three female chimps from London Zoo. The seven new unorthodox employees are believed to be taking on senior executive positions after Oxfordshire PCT health officia...

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Russel Grant and Nancy Reagan almost started WWIII

Funny story: Russel Grant and Nancy Reagan almost started WWIII

After admitting that she still sees her dead husband before going to sleep, ex-first lady, Nancy Reagan, admitted that many of her husband's decisions were astrology based. "He wouldn't go the john without first checking the alignment of the plan...

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Jacqui Smith Sacked For Being A Blob Of Lard

Funny story: Jacqui Smith Sacked For Being A Blob Of Lard

Sensational news just emerging from Downing Street, is that Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, has been given the boot by Prime Minister Gordon Brown after a series of incidents that have left the nation feeling she is nothing more than a big, fat, ugly,...

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Gazza Weds Girl

Funny story: Gazza Weds Girl

After just 3 weeks of dating, Paul Gascoigne and his glamour model girlfriend have married in a private ceremony. The wedding took place in a low key ceremony on a beach in South Shields, the town where his bride comes from. The wedding was overse...

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Jacqui Smith in the new expenses revelation

Funny story: Jacqui Smith in the new expenses revelation

The soon former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith apologised for claiming £1 entry fee in expenses on her first home. She confirmed that it was claimed by mistake by her secretary (which is also her husband). Apparently he was too distracted by his parliam...

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Has Britain really Got Talent?

So - the "Boyle Train " has been derailed - the wheels have fallen off, and with a last puff of screeching brakes the buffers loomed up out of the mist of missed opportunity. The "little village in Scotland" has taken down the bunting - tea shop owners have cancelled the extra tables & chairs and the blue "Susan Boyle lived here" plaque lies unfinished in some council filing cabinet. So...

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Top Doctors Called to Westminster

A team of medical experts are being rushed to London to deal with an 'unprecedented crisis' at Westminster. The team, from the Spinal Injuries Unit of Stoke Mandeville Hospital in Buckinghamshire, were called in by Prime Mincer Gollum Brown after...

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Google Blamed for Crop Circles Stunt

Funny story: Google Blamed for Crop Circles Stunt

Following a recent spate of crop circles in Wiltshire, it has all turned out to be one massive hoax! It has long been thought that it is the work of extra terrestrials, but the real culprits have now been identified. The circles have become more e...

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Murray: Nadal Exit My Best Chance Yet

Andy Murray has welcomed Rafael Nadal's shock exit from the French Open, saying that it represents 'a massive opportunity'. Nadal, the World #1 and winner of four consecutive titles at Roland Garros, was beaten by Sweden's Robin Soderling yesterda...

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Burnley win last 2010 premier league relegation spot

Wade Elliott's sensational strike ended Burnley's 33-year wait for another relegation from the top flight as they defeated Sheffield United in the Championship play-off final. Elliott scored with a curling 13th-minute strike into the top corner fo...

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Pyongyang bomb gang behind French Airbus disappearance?

Funny story: Pyongyang bomb gang behind French Airbus disappearance?

Paris - (Merde Alors! Mess): A North Korean hit squad is suspected of blowing up a French plane that went missing over the Bermuda Triangle yesterday. Worried CIA sources commented that a series of recent high profile dodgy 'suicides' in Paris had...

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Air France Jet May Have Been Abducted By Aliens

Funny story: Air France Jet May Have Been Abducted By Aliens

The Air France flight that disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean after it flew out of Rio de Janeiro on Sunday, may have been abducted by aliens, it has been reported. After leaving Rio, flight AF447 vanished into thin air "somewhere over the sea be...

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Ballack to hurl abuse at refs for another year

Funny story: Ballack to hurl abuse at refs for another year

Chelsea forward Michael Ballack has signed a one-year extension to his abuse-hurling contract, the club has confirmed. Incoming coach Brian Ancelotti said he was delighted, insisting that with Ballack, John Terry and Didier Drogba, Chelsea would c...

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Cold Turkey-R-Us clinic says Boyle has a hangover

Funny story: Cold Turkey-R-Us clinic says Boyle has a hangover

London - (Britain's Git Talent Mess): Shrinks at a rehab clinic where Susan Boyle is detoxing from months of celebrity hype said today she had suffered a panic attack after mislaying the remains of her cocaine stash after the show's grand finale.

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Palace expenses shocker

Funny story: Palace expenses shocker

London - (What A Scandal Mess): The Queen used taxpayers' money to 'clean her moat' and 'subdue dry rot' a House of Commons Public Accounts Committee heard today. "That's just so setting a bad example to snout-on-the-trough MPs like Douglas Hogg!"...

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Screw the D-Day Landings Ceremony, One is Orf to the Derby!

Funny story: Screw the D-Day Landings Ceremony, One is Orf to the Derby!

London - (Epsom Salts Mess): The real reason why the Queen is not joining publicity-ravenous desperados like Gorgon Brown and Bollox O'Bummer at the 65th Anniversary of the D-Day Landings Ceremony was revealed today. The event coincides with the E...

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The Only Honest Graduation Speech This Season in Six Hundred and Seventy Fun Words that Shouldn't Take More than a Few Minutes

Good Morning, Graduates and the many friends, relatives and paid participants who would much rather be somewhere else. Hic! Excuse my Latin.Let's speak some truth as Cicero said to Cataline... I'm not the only hung over mofo in the stadium today so let's have a rousing round of applause for every dehydrated aching big head out there! Graduation... it is no accident that it sounds like somethi...

Read full story View 'The Only Honest Graduation Speech This Season in Six Hundred and Seventy Fun Words that Shouldn't Take More than a Few Minutes'

"NYC Projecks Spawn Mo' Den Celebrities"

Funny story: "NYC Projecks Spawn Mo' Den Celebrities"

With the nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court, reporters are collecting the dozens of NYC public housing project former residents whom have made it big. Comedians like Dyno-Mite Jimmie Walker who once mugged this writer on the tra...

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US Supreme Court's Five Catholics Make the Vatican the Fifty-First State

Funny story: US Supreme Court's Five Catholics Make the Vatican the Fifty-First State

American Protestants worried that a Roman Catholic president, John Fitzgerald Kennedy would have a greater allegiance to the Pope than to the US Presidency. Once they learned that the whorin bastard was alot like them they relaxed at least until the...

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NYC Sends Its Scum to The Great State of Texas

Funny story: NYC Sends Its Scum to The Great State of Texas

Some say nature abhors a vacuum. Others believe that opposites attract. Still some say that likes gravitate toward likes. And so the third theory seems to prevail as NYC after dredging the toxic mud in the bottom of the Hudson River has found a depos...

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Fiat makes an offer Chrysler can't refuse

Funny story: Fiat makes an offer Chrysler can't refuse

Now that the Italian car company will be taking over Chrysler, what will it all mean? Here are some possibilities: 1) The stickshift will be in the shape of a cannoli. 2) Instead of "Honk," the horn will go "Bada-a-bing." 3) Fuel will now be 80% gasoline and 20% Chianti. 4) The hood ornament will be a Sophia Loren profile. 5) The transmission will be lubricated with extra v...

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Conversion of a Liberal Tops Box Office Records

Funny story: Conversion of a Liberal Tops Box Office Records

Hollywood CA: Universal Studios grossed $150 million over the weekend with its new smash hit motion picture "Conversion of a Liberal." The movie is based upon the fictional novel by Ronald Wilson Goldwater that claims to be an unauthorized biograp...

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