Washington DC: Gingrich Pelosi University (GPU) has instituted changes to their software (SW) development classes to be in conformance with prevailing political ideologies.
As an example the basic software class, SW 101: Introduction to Software Design and Development has been split into two sections for liberals and conservatives, respectively, namely SW: 101L and SW: 101C. Course of study student guidelines are as follows.
SW 101L: The liberal student will learn that,
1. All SW designs, documentation, and displays, including flow charts, will utilize left justified digital formats.
2. Centralized processing and control will always take precedence over smaller local control processes.
3. There will be no task queuing priorities, all SW applications are to be treated equally regardless of the severity of the problem or the added resource costs.
4. Expanding computer hard drive and random access memory (RAM) is not an issue, if needed just throw more megabytes at the problem.
5. All types of hardware (HW) components can be married to the mother board.
6. The RESET command will be designated the ABORT command.
7. Performance monitoring (PM) will check functional HW operations, but it must now also be able to empathize with the hardware being checked.
8. Fault localization (FL) SW must be part of a comprehensive centralized health plan that covers all HW faults.
9. A green power source must be utilized, but there is no limit to the number of cooling fans required to stop global HW platform warming.
SW 101C: The conservative student will learn that,
1. All SW designs, documentation, and displays, including flow charts, will utilize right justified digital formats.
2. Smaller decentralized local processing and control will always take precedence over large control processes and structures.
3. Task queuing priorities for SW applications are to be based on the severity of the problem, without regard to the place of program origin or language spoken by programmers, e.g. COBOL, FORTRAN, C++ etc.
4. Expanding computer hard drives and RAM is not an issue, if needed just throw more megabytes at the problem. Unfortunately this methodology is standard for all current and previous SW administrations.
5. All like HW components are to form domestic partnerships, as opposed to marriage, with the mother board.
6. Generic architecture instructions (GAIs) cannot be employed in any military SW applications.
7. PM SW will check functional HW operations and FL SW will diagnose malfunctioning HW, but the choice of repair technicians is the responsibility of the individual HW components.
8. User licenses will not be given to illegal SW drivers.
9. Power is to be derived based on the requirements of the energized HW components.
A spokesperson for a consortium of IBM, Microsoft, and Apple etal said that "graduates from GPU majoring in software studies need not apply to these companies for a job. They would be putting a bug in software configuration management, logistic support and training requirements."
GPU has also reported that socialist students have initiated a sit-in protest at the computer laboratory facilities over the new curricula. This coed group has chained themselves to a Vista operating system until all its SW problems are resolved.
