London - (Signs & Portents Ass Mess): Mystery street artist Royal Banksy of Scotland is the top official suspect following the appearance of an ominous Grim Reaper crop circle on the lawn of Buckingham Palace.
The sight of the cosmic etching is said to have totally freaked the sicko hoax monarchy squatters who have steadfastly refused to budge from their landgrab building.
Palace Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon immediately summoned royal stables staff and warned that any similar crop circle's appearance on, say, Epsom racecourse this Saturday or the D-Day Landings ceremony beach in Normandy, France would be met with the sternest of displeasures.
A giant carbuncle of a festering boil has appeared on Prince Charles' nose.
