BB's Davina McCall : MILK, minger, old minger, deluded minger? You decide!
Delusional butterface and body Davina McCall, 49 will grace the nations screen yet again for the next twelve weeks on her programme Big hook Nose and Big Brother. Unlike fellow ageing reality screen presence Amanda Holden, 41 who admittedly did o...
Read full storyGordon Brown Resigns
It was going to happen sooner or later. After a day or so of speculating about his career failing further, Gordon Brown has stepped down as Prime Minister. The announcement came in the house made of Ginger-Bread, shortly after photo's of him were...
Read full storySpoof Writing Is Really Boring Claims Kristen Stewart
Kristen Stewart aka Bella Swan, lover of teen vampire Edward Cullen, tonight lashed out at writers of spoofery and related antics because 'my dad does it too' The teen queen claimed that anything with teen heartthrobs names on it attracted an irra...
Read full storyMan With World's Largest Penis Writes Story About It To See If It Will Appear On TheSpoof.com
A man - me - who, reportedly, is the owner of the world's largest penis, has written a story about it to see if it would appear on the newspages of satirical news website, TheSpoof.com. The penis, which is fifteen inches long, with a circumference...
Read full storySanta Claus to divorce Mrs Claus after her affair with the Easter bunny
It has been a long time since we have heard from good old Saint Nick, who is well known for delivering presents all across the world. Recently however, he has not been 'hohohoing'. This is because he reportedly said that he is splitting up from his d...
Read full storyUS Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner On Food Stamps
Washington, DC - It has been revealed by credible sources within the U.S. Department of Agriculture that U.S. Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, the man responsible for the nations finance and monetary matters, has applied for food stamps - the progra...
Read full storyI'm browned off, says Sun
The Solar Ombudsman, OfHot, has been fielding a string of complaints from the Sun following the UK's recent good weather. The well-known star - a regular visitor to the rest of the world - claims to have been severely overworked by living up to hi...
Read full storyOverwhelmingly Large Hadron Collider Fired Up In Russia
Last night, Russia released the news that its own particle collider is up and running- and it's even bigger than CERN's. Work on this collider has been going on for years now, but the Russians quite sensibly told people that it wasn't actually goi...
Read full storyNewton Was Wrong- Gravity Caused By Placebo Effect
The whole world shook yesterday, as scientists proved that gravity was a myth- and managed to lose a country with it. The astonishing discovery was made by European scientists working in France last week, but no announcement was made until yesterd...
Read full storyShep Dead - Heartache At The Beeb
Scramble Central at Spoof HQ today as we received an E-mail informing us that Blue Peter dog, Shep, has died. Hurriedly grabbing our equipment and constantly on the look out for Taleban insurgents we raced to Shepherd's Bush, ignoring the market,...
Read full storyRobert Downey Jr. marries four wives in Saudi Arabia
Robert Downey Jr. who worked as Iron Man in the action-packed tale of a wealthy philanthropist named Toney Stark moves to Bahrain, Saudi Arabia and marries four wives. According to insiders Robert Downey Jr. moved to Bahrain, a group of 33 islands...
Read full storyNew "Nazi" Labour introduce get tough policies starting with enforced vaccination programmes!
Parents refusing to have their nippers vaccinated against measles are to be pressure-ganged by the new, shiny black turned over a new leaf, jackbooted, non-corrupt Labour/NS-GB government. These hard-core tactics are being introduced by "Herr" Bro...
Read full storyCrop Circle Of World's Largest Penis Appears In Oxfordshire - Several Spoof Writers Questioned By Police
Police this morning executed dawn raids on several writers for satirical website theSpoof.com following the discovery of the world's largest crop circle penis in a barley field in Oxfordshire. So far, no arrests have been made. The enormous crop c...
Read full storyA Weekly Curry May Fight Dementia According to New Research
A study undertaken near Birmingham has revealed that curry may be useful in fighting the onset of dementia. Professor Alan Ghobi, from Aston University, has carried out extensive testing and says that his research suggests that a hot curry once a we...
Read full storyAston Villa Fan Responds To Gareth Barry Letter
Gareth Barry, the former Aston Villa midfielder who signed for Manchester City yesterday, has written a letter of apology to fans at his Villa Park, describing how he felt he had to move to Eastlands because of his need for an increased salary, but now, Villa fans have responded, telling Barry he is "a mercenary". The writer of the letter, who signs it collectively, wrote: "Dear Gareth, w...
Read full storyObama Warns Flathead Leader In NKorea, We'll Flatten You!
President Barack Obama yesterday made the wholly symbolic political gesture of assuring Japan, Taiwan and South Korea of US defence support following North Korea's nuclear test last week. "Should the North Koreans ever launch an all-out nuclear attack on any or all of you and wipe you off the face of the earth, let it be known right now that the United States will respond in kind!" "I know y...
Read full storyGareth Barry's Apology Letter To Aston Villa Fans
Gareth Barry, the former Aston Villa midfielder who signed for Manchester City yesterday, has wriiten an apology to fans at his former club, explaining his reasons for joining the Sky Blues, which will be published in full in the Birmingham Mail this evening. I, however, have managed to obtain excerpts of the 700-word letter, and they are published below. Some of the identities have been cha...
Read full storyPadre Oprah Composes an Episcopal Litany of the Celebrity Saints: St Hollie Steel, Strengthen us...
The sainted Roman Catholic celebrity who brought almost as much press to the Vatican as their legions of pedophiles, Padre Oprah, has joined the Episcopal Anglican church so that he can shtoop his ecclesiastical mistress and still be able to preach the usual sel righteous bullshit. PO has composed a modren litany of Celebrity saints to reinforce his relvance and continue the sexsual titilatio...
Read full storyQ&A about Parliament
WHY DOES PARLIAMENT EXIST? It's a building crammed full of around 600 slimy horse thieves, who would steal your horse if you had one, and spend all day, every day, half-inching everything they can get their hands on ARE LABOUR MPs THE WORST CULPRITS? They're all at it WHAT ELSE DO MPs DO TO JUSTIFY THEIR HUGE SALARIES AND EXPENSES CLAIMS? Absolutely nothing. If Parliament had closed...
Read full storyOxfordshire PCT Staff Literally Heartless
In a shocking turn of events, it transpires that one of the criterion for working at Oxfordshire Primary Care Trust is that applicants must be literally heartless. An undercover investigator applied for a position at Oxfordshire PCT and was shocked at the application form which stated 'Are you currently in position of a heart, and if so would you be willing to have it removed prior to starting...
Read full storyMichael Jackson 'Wasting Away'
It has been revealed that the Paeter Pan of pop, Michael Jackson, who was recently revealed to be suffering from skin cancer, or not, depending on your sources has been refusing to eat more than one meal a day as he fears that putting on weight will...
Read full storyKirsty Gallacher Wardrobe Malfunction
The Glamour Magazine Awards were held last night, and celebrities from all over the world showed up to take part and be seen. TV host Kirsty Gallacher was due to appear on the red carpet in a sheer black dress which was generally expected to become...
Read full storyChelsea FC Disease
The Department of Health has released and urgent alert about what is being called Chelsea FC Disease. It is brought on when reading, hearing or watching anything about Chelsea FC and the symptoms are vomiting, headaches and uncontrollable rage. On...
Read full storyPM Unveils Radical New Reshuffle Methods
With a Cabinet-generated Cabinet reshuffle now well and truly underway, and the Prime Minister fighting for his political life, sources within Downing Street say that the PM is ready to embrace radical new methods to engage in the political process.
Read full storyGet Rid Of The Bustards - BNP Insist
BNP mouthpiece Dick Muffin today caused a row in parliament when he insisted that 'the bustards' should be repatriated to their country of origin because they are not wanted in the UK. Speaking from his grandmother's apartment in Addis Abbaba, Muf...
Read full storyIsla Fisher's Topless Coffee Shop Approved After Rousing Debate
VASSALBORO, Maine -- The issue started when Isla Fisher a successful businesswoman opened a topless coffee shop in Maine. The coffee shop named, "The Grand View", opened in Vassalboro, Maine. Fisher argues her business is protected by the constitu...
Read full storyThe Simpsons in 'Fraudian Slip'
[cue music, blue sky with white clouds, tap dancing elephants, etc., etc.] Homer Simpson: Marge, have you seen my expenses claim forms? Marge: No, but I think Bart is reading something. There's a first time for everything! Homer: Why you - give me my forms back, boy! Bart: It says here you're claiming for a holiday in Africa, two trips to Disneyworld, a year's supply of Duff beer and...
Read full storyManchester United Shirts to Carry AON Logo - Astra Owner's Network Delighted
Manchester United have agreed an £80 Million 4-year deal for shirt sponsorship with the Astra Owner's Network, a UK-wide car enthusiast's club. The club is thrilled to have beaten prestigious companies from the worlds of finance and communications t...
Read full storyBritney Spears' Vagina Opens in London
The Britney Spears' circus pulled into London today and the freaks piled out of the clown car like investors escaping General Motors. The anxious crowd waited patiently for Spears to exit and were not disappointed as she finally climbed out crotch fi...
Read full storySimon Cowell sues London Borough for defamation in Diversity scandal
Cowell Island, Scotland - Simon Cowell has announced he is launching a law suit against the London Borough of Brent for defamation against the winner of Britain's Got Talent, Diversity. LB Brent carries the catchphrase "Brent: Proud of Our Diversi...
Read full storyOxfordshire PCT discovers something more serious than life and death
Oxfordshire Primary Care Trust (PCT) has discovered something that is literally more serious than life and death, and that is budgeting. Cancer patients are dying for want of drugs denied to them by the PCT (Primarily we don't Care and you should...
Read full storyLast Labour Party ship survivor's career dies
Gordonov Brown was nine when the S.S. Labour Party sank after hitting a blairberg in 1997, and the disaster resulted in the deaths of hundreds of its crew, largely due to a lack of policies. Mr Brown, who remembered nothing of the fateful accident in...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Takes A Leak! ...Several Times A Day
Los Angeles, CA - Pattinson, star of the Twilight series, is actually human. While no picture of the hunky dream with dirty hair have surfaced depicting him voiding his bladder, the story is true just the same. Ladies and little girls, Robert Patti...
Read full storySpoof Writers That Post Parody Stories Get Rounded Up In China
BEIJING- Once again the communist leaders in China are flexing their muscles and this time they are going after a specific type of dissident; people that write for 'The Spoof'- a website parody tabloid where writers take everyday news stories and tur...
Read full storyParliament closed by HM the Queen
As the farce of seemingly endless MPs - who never seem to do anything except steal and make loud noises on a Wednesday - being suspended and downgraded from Ministerial posts, but basically keeping their jobs after been caught thieving and lying, Her...
Read full storyLarry King: "Susan Boyle's sex tape is nice"
LONDON - Larry King of CNN has reportedly given the Susan Boyle sex tape a "thumbs up" and "it will be the one I keep on my nightstand." I have to go barf, hold on. Ok, I'm back, sigh. I suppose we are all in the same boat here wondering wher...
Read full storyBlears Quits Cabinet
Pint-size Communities Lunatic Hazel Blears, whose shock resignation from the Cabinet today has thrown the Government into even further disarray, has revealed her reasons for quitting. Speaking at a Press Conference, Blears announced that she took...
Read full storyTony Adams eyes up Madrid manager role
Former Portsmouth boss Tony Adams says he is in the frame to become the new Real Madrid manager should the club appoint Arsene Wenger as technical director. Adams said Madrid approached Wenger, who recommended him. But a club source has denied Ad...
Read full storyTimmy and David reach NO.1
Timmy Mallet and David Van Day were jumping with joy last night as their new single "Biff Baff Boff" reached number 1 in the charts.The song knocked Dizee Rascals "Nutter" straight down to number 50. The pair had been working on the song together...
Read full storyTeen queens, Brenda Song & Kristen Stewart mock Rob Pattinson
Teen queens, Brenda Song and Kristen Stewart have recently mocked Rob Pattinson, Brenda in a recent interview criticized his acting skills and mocked his style. While, Kristen imitated Pattinson on a recent Youtube video. In response to the video...
Read full storyFrench Hairbrush Falls into Drink?
Sitting in Fat Harry's Cafe in Manchester is an old geezer with a dodgy hearing aid and a whippet wondering what all the fuss is about? Why, oh why, oh why is something as silly as a French hairbrush falling into a drink making the news? Ponders o...
Read full storyHarman Tipped for Reshuffle Promotion
Sources within Downing Street have indicated that Harridan Harpy is likely to receive a major promotion in the Cabinet reshuffle expected after Thursday's Local and European Elections. Harman, who is currently in The Priory being treated for exhau...
Read full storyOxfordshire PCT's proposed new funding criteria for IVF
The Oxfordshire Primary Care Trust (PCT) today unveiled plans to change their funding criteria for IVF. The trust has come under mounting criticism of late over what campaigners call their 'discriminatory funding polices'. Their current guide...
Read full storyWhy Rednecks Make Good Soldiers
Dear Ma & Pa: Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your...
Read full storyChinese find a way to talk about Tiananmen and Communist
Due to its dictator and communist, the Chinese Govt. have blocked site which even mention about T-word. The Chinese govt is so scared of the T-word that they start to shiver in fear by the very mention of people talking about it. To demonstrate it...
Read full storyPadre Oprah, the New Henry the Eighth
Padre Oprah the hunkie former Roman Catholic priest known for his charisma, sex appeal and flagrant violations of celibacy has made the headlines again by his conversion to the Episcopalian faith that looks kindly upon curates with a whole lotta love...
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