Cowell Island, Scotland - Simon Cowell has announced he is launching a law suit against the London Borough of Brent for defamation against the winner of Britain's Got Talent, Diversity.
LB Brent carries the catchphrase "Brent: Proud of Our Diversity", which is written on many street signs in Brent and on the Council's website.
Cowell has slammed the council, accusing them of trying to claim dance group Diversity as their own. "Diversity does not belong to the London Borough of Brent" said Cowell angrily, "In fact, not one member of Diversity is from the Brent area of London! Diversity belong to me! Me! Me! Do you hear me Brent?"
Bluebella, one of the top celebrity journalists in the world, has sided with Cowell. "I live in Dollis Hill/Willesden, which is in Brent" she said "and I have noticed that sign up all around the place. I did first see the sign when I moved into the area seven years ago, and I thought it was referring to all the diverse cultures & nationalities in the area. Now, I have changed my mind. My personal belief is that a member of the council consulted a psychic and the psychic predicted all those years ago that Diversity would win Britain's Got Talent in 2009. They are just cheats, trying to claim the winners of BGT as their own."
A spokesperson for LB Brent has called both Cowell and Bluebella "a pair of idiots" and says they will not even dignify the accusations with a formal response.
Ashley Banjo declined to comment except to say he thought Bluebella was sexy.