Oxfordshire PCT Staff Literally Heartless

Funny story written by Halo Jones

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

In a shocking turn of events, it transpires that one of the criterion for working at Oxfordshire Primary Care Trust is that applicants must be literally heartless.

An undercover investigator applied for a position at Oxfordshire PCT and was shocked at the application form which stated 'Are you currently in position of a heart, and if so would you be willing to have it removed prior to starting work at the Primary Care Trust?'. Other questions included a multiple choice scenario as follows:

You are employed by Oxfordshire PCT, a peaceful demonstration has started outside the building by people who you are preventing from becoming parents. You have to go home in your very expensive gold car before your caviar and champagne gets too warm and you have to fire the butler.

Do you

a) sneak out a back door and hope they don't see you;
b) use some of the £2M surplus of NHS Money to hire a helicopter to airlift you away from these plebs; or
c) get a hired goon to bring his car round in an attempt to wrongfoot these fools and laugh in the protesters faces as you exit the building.

The correct answer is of course c).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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