US Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner On Food Stamps

Funny story written by Wire Piddle

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

image for US Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner On Food Stamps
Treasury Secretary's Take Home Pay

Washington, DC - It has been revealed by credible sources within the U.S. Department of Agriculture that U.S. Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, the man responsible for the nations finance and monetary matters, has applied for food stamps - the program used to supplement low to no income households who can't afford to put food on their tables.

Mr. Geithner revealed that, with an income of $192,000 US, he would normally not be allowed to apply for food stamps. His income ranks in the top 2 percentile of all Americans. However, upon becoming treasury secretary in February, he's had to put his New York house on the market; a market with very few buyers.


The house, a 5-bedroom Tudor-style home in Larchmont, New York, was originally purchased for $1.6 million. Having received no offers - the house going for $1.635 million, Geithner was forced to rent out the property for $7,500/month. However, his property taxes are $27,000 a year. Add to this - maintenance, heating, utilities and such, results in a surplus of just over $23 dollars, hardly enough to cover his mortgage.


"My mortgage," said Mr. Geithner, " the ball and chain around my neck. At the end of the month, I've got maybe $50 a week to spend on food."


Still, Mr. Geithner soldiered on for the first few months, taking handouts from neighbors and enjoying pot luck suppers at the church on weekends. However the charitability of the community soon came to an end and the Geithner's were forced to apply for government assistance.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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