Isla Fisher's Topless Coffee Shop Approved After Rousing Debate

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Wednesday, 3 June 2009

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VASSALBORO, Maine -- The issue started when Isla Fisher a successful businesswoman opened a topless coffee shop in Maine.

The coffee shop named, "The Grand View", opened in Vassalboro, Maine. Fisher argues her business is protected by the constitution's right to the pursuit of happiness.

Vassalboro residents discussed several options Wednesday night, including an outright ban on establishments that have nudity even though it is a location where adults engage in their private affairs. Many residents said, at the very least, they want to set strict guidelines for any new successful businesses opening in the town even though the city collects needed taxes from those businesses.

Fisher complains that town radicals will begin to make laws ordering others to wear green shoes on Sunday and yellow hats on Friday. Radicals will then feel privileged to march into your bedroom and order you to remove your clothing to their liking. She says people are entitled to their opinions but not the right to violate someone else's freedom.

Selectwoman Libby Mitchell warned that an outright ban could result in a long legal battle, saying the town of Farmingdale tried to put a ban on the books but the state Supreme Court overturned the ordinance.

After gathering information and input, the town selectmen draft an ordinance approving the opening the toppless coffee shop.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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