Oxfordshire PCT's proposed new funding criteria for IVF

Funny story written by Oxfordshire PCT

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

image for Oxfordshire PCT's proposed new funding criteria for IVF
PCT staff with the money that they are thought to save from new IVF policies

The Oxfordshire Primary Care Trust (PCT) today unveiled plans to change their funding criteria for IVF.

The trust has come under mounting criticism of late over what campaigners call their 'discriminatory funding polices'.

Their current guidelines state that funding will only be available to those in the age bracket 35-39yrs.

In the shock announcement today, the trust said that it would give into campaigners and open up the age bracket to 23-39; however they did want to have some restrictions in place.

The new policy will state that couples will only receive treatment if they meet the following criteria.

• Both female and male partner will have needed to be born on a day in the week that starts will a letter 'W'.
• The female will have to have blond hair and the male will have to have a small beauty stop on his left buttock.
• The IVF will only be funded if performed during a full moon.

So, yet again Oxfordshire PCT is putting savings ahead of people. Let's hope that they stop screwing over the Oxonian Taxpayer some time soon!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more