Michelle Obama's Organic White House Garden Filled With Clinton Sewage
Chemists called to the White House to test the composition of sludge in Michelle Obama's organic garden have discovered that it is human feces dating to the Clinton Administration. The First Lady was attempting to grow a true, organic garden and was...
Read full storyEqual Opportunity Sperms Coming Soon
In the ejaculate of the average male, there are over one million sperm. Only one of these, the first to reach and penetrate the egg, can be considered "successful;" The others all die in the attempt. Obviously, the most successful sperms are the o...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Buried In Jackson Hole, Wyoming
It was finally settled today, after a long meeting between Michael Jackson's mother and the mother of two of Jackson's kids yesterday that Michael's mother would take custody, that the family has decided that Jackson Hole, Wyoming was the perfect pla...
Read full storyGary McKinnon should not be extradited says the whole world
Gary McKinnon is to be extradited to the US and the World has decided that it is not going to put up with this nonsense. "Basically" said a spokesperson for the whole wide world "This is utterly ridiculous. Gary McKinnon may have successfully hacked...
Read full story'I don't like soccer players, and I don't like people who do' by Chief Lee
I hate the game of soccer. I especially hate the stupid morons who play it! Whenever I drive by a soccer field with little children or 'adults' playing that sick little game I lean out the window of my car and holler out something like, " look at you little fairies prancing around in your stupid fucking fairy uniforms, you sick little assholes," followed by leaning on the horn until the game st...
Read full storyPlease, please, please help The Amy Winehouse Horse Sanctuary
Dear Readers, We all love animals and pets, and some of us particularly love horses. Such noble and attractive animals, intelligent and beautiful, equally at home as transport in the country or as sporting animals at the race course, they make our lives just that little bit more pleasant. But some people cruelly mistreat horses and fill them with poisonous drugs, and starve them til their ri...
Read full storyMichael Jackson was eliminated by CIA and MI6 in tragic case of mistaken identity
It is beyond the realms of the wildest conspiracy theory, but the shocking truth about Michael Jackson's untimely demise has now been revealed. According to sources close to the Pentagon, Jackson was murdered by a joint British and US intelligence...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Paula Abdul Wants $20 Million
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for Paula Abdul, Pansy Von Celtic says, that the American Idol judge wants a $20 million contract or she will not return to American Idol. When Abdul was told that AI host Ryan Seacrest was only making $15 million a year...
Read full storyMick Jagger Leaves The Rolling Stones
LONDON - The BBC is reporting that the lead singer for the Rolling Stones Mick Jagger has decided to strike out on his own. It seems that the 66-year-old Jagger got tired of hearing from his band mates that they were too tired to go on another 60-...
Read full storyDear Father Frank......(3rd Letter)
Dear Father Frank, Just a quick note to thank you for the social hour in the rectory last Sunday; I am very honored to have been selected the guest of honor, but I must admit that I am a bit saddened that none of the other invitees were thoughtful enough to accept your kind invitation. Oh, well, I kind of enjoyed having you all to myself; such stimulating conversation! It was wonderful to have...
Read full storyDear Father Frank......(2nd Letter)
Dear Father Frank,, I am writing to thank you for your prompt action in returning my car to me this morning after my terrible experiences of yesterday. It seemed to take mere moments from the time I gave Li'l Tommy my note to you for you to come! Thank you so much for sending him to the movies; he really enjoyed the outing. I would also like to thank you for sharing the Eucharist with me; a...
Read full storyMike Ashley to be cremated with Sir Bobby!
Distraught fans of the the best and only club in the world "Newcastle United FC" are planning a surprise event at Sir bobby's funeral! Fervant NUFC Fan Willie Wiggins from Ponteland came up with the wizard idea in a bid to make fans feel better an...
Read full storyTesco in Birmingham spark racial riots by offering only their white caucasian customers GBP 10,00 rebates on their shopping!!!
Tesco have caused major racist rioting in their stores around suburbian Birmingham spreading also to other suburban areas in Britains major cities!! Tesco in their efforts to attract white, caucasian customers back into their stores, have offered...
Read full storyLocal Man Goes On Holiday To Blackpool - Comes Back A Black Man!
Local man George Seacroft spent a delightful weekend in glamorous Blackpool and returned to his village as a much younger black man. The 72-year old pensioner couldn't explain the change and is no adjusting to life as a hunky 29-year old black dud...
Read full storyLocal Mystic Predicts She'll Be £15 Better Off By The End Of Hotline Call
Local psychic, Magical Mary correctly predicted that she would be better off to the tune of £15.27 by the end of a call made to her requesting a psychic reading. She's very good at knowing when she's coming into money and when others - mostly...
Read full storyGazza To Give Oration At Bobby Robson Funeral
Friends, family and fans were saddened to hear that football legend Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne would be giving the oration at the funeral of legendary manager Bobby Robson who passed away today. Gascoigne was a close friend of Robson's - nobody co...
Read full storyBy 2255 Most Humans Alive Today Will Be Dead
A scientist has stunned the World with his announcement that most of the people alive this very moment will be dead come 2255. "Governments around the World are not prepared for all these deaths. I'm as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a da...
Read full storyTom Cruises The Neighbourhood At Night Looking For Young Men For Gay Fun
Local man Tom Barnett, 48, has been entertaining youngster's since the early 1980's by travelling around in his battered Fiat 137 and putting on night time puppet shows. Described by friends and colleague as 'Gay' - I the quaint old meaning of the...
Read full storyJoan Rivers Says She Cannot Stand Jay Leno
MANHATTAN - The undisputed Queen of American Comedy Joan Rivers has just stated that she absolutely cannot stand the American prince of comedy Jay Leno. Ms. Rivers said that it's not because of his bunyanesque chin, or his hairdo which he stole fr...
Read full storyLocal Teenager Arrested for being a Dickhead
Local teenager Vincent Harlow from number 69 Cloverfield Meadows, was arrested today for being a complete and utter dickhead. The 17-year old knobhead was taken from the outside of the local shop to the local police station where he was formally char...
Read full storyThird Ashes Test Match Marred By Obscene Chanting
It's with great sadness that we report that the third Ashes test match, currently in session at Edgbaston, Birmingham (not too far from Dudley, the former home of legendary Spoof writer Monkey Woods) has been marred by a series of obscene chants from...
Read full storySpoof Writers Rally To Help Jalapenoman's Son With Generous Collection
There was a happy ending to a potentially-disastrous tale in Tulsa this week, when a young man who had been building a dodgy wall for his grandparents came a cropper in his truck - only for his Dad's writing buddies to come up trumps with a marvellou...
Read full storyObama's Keg Party, AirLines Bare It All & Health Care Still A Dream
(Washington, D.C.) Sergeant James Crowley and Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. sat around a patio table with President Obama and Vice President Biden Thursday in the so called "beer summit". Its purpose, better understanding the issues of race profili...
Read full storyReading Articles About The Swine Flu Bad For Your Health
Every day that you open your morning newpapers on turn on the computer to check the Drudge Report and see that another 10,000 people have died from the Swine Flu is taking a risk according to Louisville St. Judes Hospital Psychologist Runt Swinborne.
Read full storyMadonna's Biceps Blamed On Acai Berry Promoted By Oprah
New York, NY - Madonna's biceps are stringy, ugly and may make KFC's treatment of chickens look tame. PETA has issued its first ever complaint regarding treatment of humans and it has to do with the unsightly mess that is Madonna's arms. In a str...
Read full storyElton John Opens Fudge Packing Plant In Buttcrack, New Jersey
Buttcrack, N.J. - Sir Elton John, famed British pop star, has opened a fudge packing plant in New Jersey, hoping to cash in on the fudge craze that sweeps down the Atlantic coast during the hot summer months. "My wife and I," Sir Elton stated, "..
Read full storyWhiter Shade of Pale Co-Writing Attributed To J.S. Bach
Law Lords have overturned previous rulings and determined that Procul Harem's 1976 hit Whiter Shade of Pale was at least partly the work of Johann Sebastian Bach from his Orchestral Suite in D Major written in the seventeen-hundreds. The famous piec...
Read full storyErin Andrews Video - Give Me The Virus But Show Me The Video
Mountain View, CA - A large search engine company and a Chinese company marketing an internet based role playing game are considering doing a deal with Erin Andrews that will see her infamous peephole video being released to an wide American audienc...
Read full storyFartlek Training For Athletes Brings New Meaning To The Term 'Cut And Run'
New York, NY - In an effort to improve their customers level of fitness, Heintses Baked Beans would like to introduce 'Fartlek Training' on their labels. While traditionally Fartlek Training was a method of improving an athletes running capability by...
Read full storyExhumation imminent as Mary Jo Kopechne and Jesse Jackson named Obama birth parents
Martha's Vineyard - (Dead & Buried Mess): A special treat awaits Senator Ted Kennedy next week as birthday-boy President Obama prepares to vacation just yards from the Chappa-quidditch (sic) site where his birth mother Mary Jo Kopechne died in 19...
Read full storyLoch Ness Monster Returns
The Loch Ness Monster was spotted yesterday surfacing in the middle of the Loch for a few minutes before diving below the water. Angus MacDonald said he noticed the monster rise out of the water when he was watching a boat on the loch. "I saw...
Read full storySpoof Writer Breaks Wikipedia By Looking Up Wikipedia
The world's most successful on-line encyclopaedia was in turmoil earlier today when it was broken by a simple enquiry made by a Spoof writer. By looking up 'Wikipedia' the writer created an endless loop which locked up all the Wikipedia servers worl...
Read full storyDear Father Frank...
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen. Bless me Father, For I have sinned In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen. Dear Father Frank, You may remember that I am a good, Irish catholic girl that believes in sex for procreation, not recreation. Father Frank, now that I am widowed and still attractive, I find that I attract the wrong element. Father, I tr...
Read full storyTeacher Bruk- Time
You have just dialled nine, nine, nine Because you wanted to report a crime. Well, you just wait and see If there's a Pc that's free Or if one can spare the time. You've been beaten to a pulp by some thug Who was looking for someone to mug, And you're feeling quite dizzy But our lads are all busy And your plight has meet with a shrug You may have to wait for sometime, You might have...
Read full storyChamone flashes Moobs at Skoob: "Made me puke!"
Two of TheSpoof.com's most successful writers, Ally Chamone and Skoob1999, cancelled their plans to elope in the Bahamas. They left the UK Friday morning for an undisclosed hotel in Freeport. The trouble in paradise began when Skoob unbuttoned Ally...
Read full storyConstipated Pattaya Man Relieves Bowels
There was consternation in the Thai eastern seaboard resort of Pattaya this morning, when a man who had suffered with constipation for more than six days, eventually managed to relieve his aching bowels, and had an enormous great shat. The man, wh...
Read full storyProcol Harum's organist wins case against Johann Sebastian Bach
English pop band Procol Harum's organist Matthew Fisher today won his case against fellow composer Johann Sebastian Bach for plagiarism. 'It's a victory for common sense', the keyboard player said, after the Law Lords' decision, 'and a victory aga...
Read full storyTime Travel Now Possible, As Proven On Spoof Forum Board
The prickly issue of Time Travel once again raised its curious head this week when, in the unlikeliest of places, posters on a message board on a satirical news website rewalised they were drifting into and out of different time zones at will. The...
Read full storyAshlee Simpson & Jessica Simpson To Star In Reality TV Series
Sisters Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz have signed to star together in a reality TV series that is going to be titled "The Other Simpsons" and that will be focusing on their personal lives: Jessica's sturggle to find a new boyfriend, to...
Read full storyFr. Francois' Confessional #04
Dear Fr. Francois: I am a 36-year-old man living in Huntington, West Virginia. I have an excellent job with a financial institution; my salary, after taxes, is $310,000 per year. My rent and living expenses use up about $70,000 per year. The remaining $240,000 is "disposable income." And I certainly dispose of it, and in the worst of ways, too! You see, Fr. Francois, I spend all of my mo...
Read full storyParallel Universe Wreaks Havoc in Spoof Forum
LAS CRUCES, NM - When the San Francisco Onion contributed a story about Rush Limbaugh collapsing in on himself to become a black hole last March, some laughed, and most thought that would be the end of it, but now the repercussions of the story have...
Read full storyArizona Needs Money Real Real Bad!
PHOENIX - Arizona legislators have stated that the state is in such a horribly financial state that they may be forced to sell off the house and senate buildings. A spokesperson for Governor Jan Brewer, Florian Farmerswood, said that the state of...
Read full storyDemi Lovato's secret interview
I recently met with Demi Lovato. I was shocked to hear what she had to say to me! Q: How is life going for you, right now? A: Well, I started my new tour, and it's a real pain. I have to do a show every single night, and I'm getting kinda sick of the screamin and yelling. It gives me a headache. Q: We know you just got done with your movie with Selena Gomez, Princess Protection Program. Ho...
Read full storyNewly single man increasingly concerned about obesity epedemic among local single women
After years of remaining relatively indifferent to a problem that has been labeled an 'epidemic' by the center for disease control, newly divorced Brian Havelberg has discovered that the problem of obesity has reached alarming and "disgusting" propor...
Read full storyGrovelling Is Not The Answer
Research results just in from the University of San Francisco appear to indicate that once you put your foot in it, there's little room for a U-turn. "It's a bit like crossing the Rubicon," Father Frankie J explained. " Like Julius Caesar, who the...
Read full storyMan-boobs: They're not just for fatties anymore!
The truth revealed By Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. I have never been a tit man, not really, anyway. However, I have been forced to re-evaluate breasts. The reason: I have developed man-boobs. And I am proud of them, but not excessively so. It is not hubris--my new knockers are just plain fun. I believe my pride at having developed these tiny titties must be much like the pride a young woman...
Read full storyBowl Outs to be scrapped in Twenty20 Cricket
Following today's resolution of the Lancashire v Somerset T20 QF by a Bowl Out, the ECB are responding to disgruntled fans' feedback that this is a ludicrous way to resolve a match, especially bearing mind the financial implications of missing out on...
Read full storySmile! It's National Cheesecake Day!
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA National Cheesecake Day is an unofficial holiday celebrated annually on July 30th. The observance has not been officially endorsed by any presidents, and does not have any congressional records to solidify its claim but this cert...
Read full storyIf the Horse Trailer's Rockin, Don't Come Knockin: Horry County Bugger Busted Buggering Beastie
Rodell Vereen has (allegedly) been at it again, at his favorite horse's ass, police say. Vereen was arrested in Horry County, South Carolina, and charged with buggery after being videotaped, in the act of screwing a horse--for the second time in a y...
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