Parallel Universe Wreaks Havoc in Spoof Forum

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Friday, 31 July 2009

image for Parallel Universe Wreaks Havoc in Spoof Forum
Skoob and San Francisco Onion neared mutual annihilation as extreme polarity tore forum threads.

LAS CRUCES, NM - When the San Francisco Onion contributed a story about Rush Limbaugh collapsing in on himself to become a black hole last March, some laughed, and most thought that would be the end of it, but now the repercussions of the story have become far flung and widespread, said sources.

The initial event occurred when Limbaugh achieved critical mass while working his way through a fourth box of Asian take out in the story, collapsing in on himself with a tremendous "Kung-Pao!!" in his Florida home.

Conservation of mass yielded a particle with a spin of negative one, which has now resurfaced, said sources, near the Florida desk of well-known spoof writer Cream of BuckwheatsCrack.

A little too near his desk, it would seem; severe distortions caused by its presence have now ripped a hole in the fabric of the spoof-time continuum, causing extreme electromagnetic disturbances that have altered digital transmissions, wreaking havoc near the event horizon of The Spoof's discussion forum.

Occasionally, said one source, whole paragraphs will speed away into empty space, far beyond his computer monitor, only to reemerge before they were sent, and others report receiving answers to questions they haven't yet asked. There are also indications of some forum contributors speaking in strange foreign tongues, and still others in what at least one person described as "pure rubbish."

Some spoofers, many of them deranged lunatics, even found themselves engaged in vicious verbal jousts with one another at multiple places and times at once, according to one witness, sometimes even engaging in spoof physical confrontations though separated by vast distances.

A call has begun to ring out among the people, imploring suspected messiahs Jalapenoman, Jesus Budda, or even His Son Chamone, to remedy the problem, but experts indicate even before Rush Limbaugh collapsed, maybe even before the San Francisco Onion stepped on the scene, the site already consisted of myriad whimsical idiots and nutcases, and nobody really knew who anybody was or how to fix anything anyway, so there's absolutely no telling how long the problem will persist.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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