It is beyond the realms of the wildest conspiracy theory, but the shocking truth about Michael Jackson's untimely demise has now been revealed.
According to sources close to the Pentagon, Jackson was murdered by a joint British and US intelligence service operation. "It was decided that Jackson had to be eliminated as he had too much information regarding the illegal war in Iraq and had become unreliable in terms of his relationships with the press. Admittedly he was a highly respected head of the British army with a distinguished war record and who had earned the respect of his troops. However, it was only a matter of time before he endangered US and British lives with his increasingly erratic and bizarre public comments."
Puzzled, this reporter asked: "Have you not confused Michael Jackson, ex pop star, with General Sir Michael Jackson, maverick former senior British Army Officer?"
The source thought for a moment and replied: "Oh bugger. Intelligence eh - you can't trust it can you"