Tesco in Birmingham spark racial riots by offering only their white caucasian customers GBP 10,00 rebates on their shopping!!!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 31 July 2009

image for Tesco in Birmingham spark racial riots by offering only their white caucasian customers GBP 10,00 rebates on their shopping!!!
Racist rebates cause racist riots at Tesco's whilst Aldi and Lidl laugh all the way to the Deutsche Bank!

Tesco have caused major racist rioting in their stores around suburbian Birmingham spreading also to other suburban areas in Britains major cities!!

Tesco in their efforts to attract white, caucasian customers back into their stores, have offered only white Brit caucasian customers GBP 10,00 rebates on their shopping!

Tesco's normal majorities, (95%) coloured, multi-culti, immigrant, burqa dressed, clientele in the suburbs of major cities feel high levels of racial discrimination and are now burning Tesco stores to the ground!

A seldom single white caucasian customer spotted escaping out of a burning Tesco store told awaiting TV crews what he thought of the riots and Tesco's rebate policies:

"Fucking great laddie, 10,00 quid rebate, and no more feeling like a fucking foreigner in my own back yard!"

The rioters, mostly non-white Brits and immigrants, were then interviewed and asked why they were rioting in such a violent manner:

One leader, Fatima "Burqa clad" Ayatollah-Mustafa spat at the cameras, raised her "Black-Islamic-Power" fist and delivered the following, threatening message:

"These are our supermarkets, we are the majority, we deserve the rebates and not these fucking white Brit infidel intruders, we will continue to riot until Tesco acknowledges these facts and gives us the 10,00 quid rebates!"

Meanwhile Sainsbury's, licking their fingers at the burning of their main rivals supermarkets are offering their majority, white caucasian clientile, no rebates, just higher prices and the promise that non-white Brits will be kept firmly away from ther stores because they can't afford to shop there anyway!

German owned Aldi and Lidl refuse to comment as not to upset their multi-culti clientele only offering the following statement and 20,00 quid rebates to non-white Brits:

"Ve von ze fucking war anyway, ve conquered ze world with German cheap supermarkets, German cars, German vashing maschines, etc, and ve don't give a fuck who visits our supermarkets in Britain as long as zey don't come to Deutschland, Sieg Heil!!!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more