Written by Bureau

Friday, 31 July 2009

image for Reading Articles About The Swine Flu Bad For Your Health
"Don't Look"

Every day that you open your morning newpapers on turn on the computer to check the Drudge Report and see that another 10,000 people have died from the Swine Flu is taking a risk according to Louisville St. Judes Hospital Psychologist Runt Swinborne.

"We have also done major studies of TV Evening News and every time you see them "ringing out the dead" as the previously unemployed add to their flatbed truck, it makes you sad, depressed."

"This depression is killing almost as many people as the Swine Flu itself as the suicide rate is near 50%."

"It is not their fault. The bulletins they see on their television screens are so full of negativity that they can change our mood for the worse."

While President Obama warns people not to read the daily newspapers, internet news and the TV News, he began crying while saying it and had to be helped back to the Oval Office by security guards, one which later jumped off the Washington Monument.

The answer may be to stay in your home or go directly to work and home and stay away from crowds as much as possible. Wear your mask, and please quit reading this report...well, we just lost another one, but we felt we must warn you.

DO NOT read anymore articles about you-know-what.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Health




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