Local teenager Vincent Harlow from number 69 Cloverfield Meadows, was arrested today for being a complete and utter dickhead. The 17-year old knobhead was taken from the outside of the local shop to the local police station where he was formally charged with being an annoying little shit and wanker.
Vincent - or 'Vinny-Boy' to his friends and family - was caught pressing his face against the exterior windowpane of the local supermarket and making faces like a fucking retard. Customers were disturbed as they purchased small items such as cat food and thumbtacks. Some complained to staff and the police arrived just in time to see the stupid prick mooning at some of his friends inside who were shoplifting those little sweets from the pick-and-mix.
Local council officials are clamping down on these sort of unprovoked 'retard actions' and have installed special lights that make teenagers bad skin appear worse than it actually is outside the local town hall as well as measures to curb 'street pissing' by hiding trained ferrets in drainpipes that pounce when they sense the presence of a teen.
Vincent will more than likely receive community service in the locality or if his offence is deemed 'serious' he may be detained in the town's own version of Guantanamo bay - the deserted playground at the back of the playing fields used to graze Mr. Meadows prize suckling calves.