Super Bowl XLIII Called Off At Halftime Due To 'Too Much Grinning'
There was drama on an unprecedented scale at Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa this afternoon, when the game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the unfancied Arizona Cardinals, was called off at halftime due to too much grinning. The Steelers fans were i...
Read full storyObama's Executive Orders Work Miracles
In office for less than a month, Barack Obama's Executive Orders have worked miracles in the employment area of his bailout plan. Already there has been a sharp increase in the job market for positions in the field of health care, private security fi...
Read full storyEven Some Influential DEMS Starting to See the Naked Truth: The Emperor Has No Clothes!
Washington, DC/ Sewerege Treatment News - Resistance is starting to build against President O'Bama's wrong headed commitment of pushing the Nation into unprecedented massive debt with pork barrel spending, even amongst leading Democrats. Demo...
Read full storyLingerie Bowl Offers More This Year
The Lingerie Bowl, which is a pay per view event that competes with the Super Bowl, is also celebrating number 43 this year. In this competition, women dress up in lingerie (one side in white, the other in black) and compete in a game of tackle footb...
Read full storyIceland's New Prime Minister Is Openly Gay
REYKJAVICH, Iceland - Johanna Sigurdardottir, 66, has just become Iceland's new prime minister and the world's first openly gay leader. Iceland's previous Prime Minister Geir Haarde resigned on January 26, amid Iceland's tumultuous political turm...
Read full storyOldham Drug Dealer Offers 'All You Can Handle For A Fiver ' Deal - Chaos Ensues.
Oldham, UK - On Friday night, Oldham drug dealer Billy J Whizz offered local junkies as much gear as they could handle for a one-off promotional price of a fiver for all you can handle between the hours of ten pm and two am. Local drug users flock...
Read full storyWhy I hate society
I believe, firmly and wholeheartedly, that society as we know it is destined for failure. Why, you enquire, I assume, as you are likely to do? Read on, good sirs, and all will become abundantly clear. The following is an article to illustrate my intellectually stimulating point: "It was announced today, in a report published by government-funded focus group Uncommon, that profanity and vulga...
Read full storyMickey Rourke signs with WWE
Following the recent success of his new movie "The Wrestler", Mickey Rouke announced today that he would be joining the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment Inc) from April of this year. Some regard the choice as a poor decision given the actor's re...
Read full storyAmericans claim victory in salvage war against the Royal Navy
An American salvage company, Lucky Strike Exploration, today claimed victory over the British navy, and began looting their ships. Speaking with a cutlass between his teeth, managing director Barack Beard said 'Ah haaar! Now we's be' havin' fun wi...
Read full storyObama to Discuss Internal Race/Holy War with Lauer
Barack Obama is scheduled to be interviewed by Matt Lauer on NBC approximately one hour before the Super Bowl kickoff at 6:20 p.m. EST. An anonymous source close to the President has disclosed that a major portion of Obama's first American television...
Read full story3 Premiership clubs merge to form "Super Club"
The FA have announced today that West Ham, Fulham and West Bromwich Albion have been allowed to merge, to form what some reporters are describing as a "Super Club". The club which will be called "West West Ful-Ham-Ham" was devised initially by the...
Read full storyPope criticises bishop for 'not being a good Nazi'
Pope Benedict today cricised Father Gerhard Wagner for 'not being a good National Socialist'. This follows the priest's controversial comments about New Orleans, as he'd said 'Well, all those people getting up to iffiness in their private lives, i...
Read full storyNaked Couple Take A Stroll In Singapore
A couple treated open air diners to a 15-minute naked parade in Singapore over the weekend, triggering both embarrassment and applause for a scene almost unheard of in this extremely conservative city-state. Pub manager Terence Chia, whom diners s...
Read full storyMan with nanopenis consummates marriage
A 35 year old married man, formerly of Italy, now residing in Littledick, TX, has finally gotten his wife of 10 years pregnant, by proxy, after many, many attempts. The man's name, Canno Finda Mydicka, you see, was born with a "nanopenis" which c...
Read full storyCanada Sees Resistance To Any U.S. Protectionism
In Toronto Sunday, Canadian Finance Minister Jim Flaherty restated what he had said on Saturday, that any protectionist moves by the United States or other countries would meet resistance around the world but Canada would not erect trade barriers of...
Read full storyThe Latest Fortune Cookie Messages
SAN FRANCISCO, California - Every year The Fortunate Sun Fortune Cookie Message Company of Chinatown produces thousands of paper messages that are then placed inside of fortune cookies. These cookies are then distributed to Chinese food restaurants throughout America. This year, as in years past, The Fortunate Sun Fortune Cookie Message Company would like to recognize its three top customers.
Read full storyBook of Secret Knowledge is a Fraud
The Pagan Community is reeling at the revelation that the book, The Lebor Feasa Runda (The Book of Secret Knowledge) is indeed a work of an indulgent imagination. Reported as being an English translation of a German Copy of an Ancient Irish Text,...
Read full storyI Hate Everything
Damn, goddamit, damn. Damn. What's the point? It's cold when I wake up. I hate the cold; I hate waking up. I have to, and do you know why? Socialists, that's why, goddamn socialists. Would anyone care if I just went back to bed and wrote sophomoric LiveJournal poetry? No. Six billion people. Six billion people. What's one in a number like that, and, is that who I am? I'm a six-billionth...
Read full storyPresident Obama To Host Little Get-Together
The most coveted place to watch the Super Bowl this year will not be a swanky stadium skybox, but inside the White House, where President Barack Obama will host Sunday's most exclusive game-viewing party. Tickets to America's most cherished sporti...
Read full storyVan Susteran to Michael Phelps: Is That a Bong in Your Speedo, Or Are You Just Happy to Meet Me!
Columbia, SC / Campus News Sporting News - Greta Van Susteran, back on the air after being rescued by Delta Force Commandos after being kidnapped by Johan Van der Sloot and given to Venezuelan Dictator Hugo Chavez by Vladmir Putin, continued to shock...
Read full storyThe Audacity of Dope: Obama brother's first interview
Great Spliff Valley, Kenya - (High-Times Mess): Twenty six year-old George Obama, half brother of the United States President, gave his first public interview today since being arrested on what his attorney Eric Holder II called 'trumped up smoke 'n'...
Read full storyBrand beds Finnigan
A bleary eyed Judy Finnigan was seen staggering out of self confessed womaniser Russell Brand's london flat at 4am yesterday morning. Stopping to vomit in the gutter, the estranged wife of Richard Madeley and one half of Britain's most successful...
Read full storyDyslexic may be charged
Harper Woods, MI (AP) - In more unusual news today, a teenage dyslexic boy's parents were notified by Harper Woods City school officials that at 8:30 this morning, right after homeroom class, their son was caught masturbating in reverse while viewing...
Read full storyRonaldo receives Victoria Cross
Cristiano Ronaldo became the first foreigner to receive the Victoria Cross, for bravery beyond the course of duty around the penalty box in England. The Portugese striker has shown incredible courage, and in one battle against Aston Villa he was fell...
Read full storyDear Duff
Dear Duff, You may think that this is a rather trivial matter but to me it's actually a matter of life and death. I'm currently suspended from a suspension bridge (rather apt that isn't it?)But thanks to modern technology and in particular my Blackberry, I am in fact able to email you asking for assistance. So, do you think that if I try and struggle free from the straight jacket that Nos...
Read full storyAnother Great British Brand to disappear
Macfisheries, Turkey Twizzlers, Texas Do-It-All, Prescott's Pies, Wedgewood, Zavvi, Acid Drops, Kwik-Save, Findus Crispy Pancakes, Woolworths - The list of great British Brands to disappear is growing in this credit crunch. Add to the list above...
Read full storyObama Goes Green: Dresses Down While Turning Up The Heat In White House!
Washington/Dc/ Global Warming Farce News DEVELOPING - Sidestepping more pressing news, such as the worsening economy, pirates, terrorist attacks, world union strikes, armed strife and unmarried women with 14 children, the President began his attack...
Read full storyRobbie Keane Confirmed Missing
Liverpool football player Robbie Keane has now been missing for over 48 hours, Merseyside police have confirmed. The Irish Striker, who was originally purchased by Liverpool for £19M from Tottenham was last seen in the last few minutes of the matc...
Read full storyPeers face expulsion for 'failing to uphold the reputation of the upper house'
It was announced today that four peers of the realm face expulsion from the UK's House of Lords. Lords Snowdagain, Hailstone and Gritheroads have all been accused of failing to uphold the traditions and reputation of the House. The 'gang of three'...
Read full storyBenitez : Keane to be nationalised
Anfield was left reeling this afternoon, after Liverpool manager Rafa 'Rafa' Benitez announced that Robbie Keane would not start in the nearly-top-of-the-table clash against millionaire playboys Chelsea of West London. 'Keane will not start,' said...
Read full storySimpson's writers find dead horse in Matt Groening's garage, decide to flog it
It was confirmed today that The Simpsons, Americas longest serving sitcom would return for a record breaking 21st season next fall. News that is sure to baffle the few people still keeping faith in the tepid outpourings of a stale collective imaginat...
Read full storyObama To Osama: Get Help.
Washington D.C.- It was learned today that the presidential team of Obama/Joe Biden have been using diplomatic back channels to try and convince Taliban leader Osama Bin Laden to seek help for "the depression he so obviously suffers from.". "The...
Read full storyGeorge W Bush to be the new James Bond
Former American President George W Bush was today chosen to become the new James Bond. But as times have changed since Sean Connery portayed the special agent in the 1960s, Mr. Bush will be a rather different Bond from Connery, Moore, Brosnan, et al.
Read full storyBBC in shock allegations as a plan to invade Palestine is revealed
A BBC military force led by the experienced but cruel and violent John Simpson was to be part of a pincer movement in an invasion of the Gaza Strip. The shocking details have come to light after documents were lef in a taxi cab by the head of the...
Read full storyPolice Google Old Couple Frolicking In Field, Pot Farm
Swiss police said today that they stumbled across a large marijuana plantation while using Google Earth, the search engine company's satellite mapping software. "It was entirely by accident", stated one officer. "Flando and I were watching this ho...
Read full story"Thor All Over!"
According to the London Telegraph, Torvald Alexander, 38, arrived home last week from a costume party and surprised a burglar in his Edinburgh, Scotland, house. "As soon as he saw me his eyes went wide with terror," Alexander said, perhaps becaus...
Read full storyAdams looks in mirror, sacks himself
Under immense pressure (which he welcomed), Portsmouth's manager Tony Adams today woke up, looked in the mirror, and accepted the resignation of his own reflection, in a bid to 'move on and do what's best for Portsmouth Football Club'. 'I'd like t...
Read full storyMedia Coverage: A different perspective
With so much bad news happening in the world, a Jewish man has found an ideal way to look at the world with a totally different outlook. He was found riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader: "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you re...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh to Battle Kobayashi, Chestnut on Competitive Eating Circuit
SAN JOSE, CA - Right-wing fat-ass Rush Limbaugh, best known for using his mouth to bash liberals, has decided to put it to another use. This July 4th, he will compete against Takeru Kobayashi and Joey "Jaws" Chestnut in the 94th Annual Nathan's Hot...
Read full storyGiant sized Condom Made due to Demand
A new Giant sized Condom is to be unveiled this week by manufacturer Lubex. A spokesman for the company told The Spoof that due to growing demand "we are now producing a condom that will basically fit an Elephant". He added over the last couple o...
Read full storyLiverpool v. Chelsea Match Could Decide Runners-up Spot
As Manchester United opened up a 5-point gap at the top of the Premier League yesterday, football analysts were saying that today's game at Anfield between Liverpool and Chelsea could effectively be a play-off for second spot. United are looking a...
Read full storyDancing On Ice Todd Carty Banned From Local Ice Rink
Todd Carty, the former Grange Hill, EastEnders and The Bill actor who has been taking part in the ITV celebrity spectacular Dancing On Ice, has been banned from his local ice rink after an incident on the show. Carty, who played Tucker Jenkins in...
Read full storyTaylor Swift The Next Dolly Parton Without the Big Tits
Taylor Swift has broken all of the music industry records and she is only nineteen but she has relatively small breasts. Country music critics are comparing her meteoric rise to stardom to the great and big busted country music superstar Dolly Pa...
Read full storyDylan to Sell Soda at Superbowl
Music greats have been known to rise and fall with the speed and suddenness of the stars but no one expected the folk rock legend Bob Dylan to be reduced to a beverage hawker at the Florida stadium that will host this years Superbowl. Dylan told...
Read full storyKKK Tells America: We Told You the Blacks are Taking Over - Obama and Steele Laugh their black asses off
America's leaders of both major parties and the actual commander in Chief are African Americans and this has the Klan running scared. Photos of President Obama and RNC Chairman Steele giving each other a brutha bump with the clenched fists of the...
Read full storyBirmingham Hates! The Apostrophe
The ever staid and formal folk of John Bulls Island have never been big fans of the apostrophe. Similes, metaphors even synedoche and metanome have been among the favorite figures of speech of Britishers, but the apostrophe was simply never their cup...
Read full storyMuhammed hails Hamas for Sending 1,300 Souls to the Garden of Earthly Delights with the Help of Israel
Islam Prophet sent word through the leaders of Hamas that the more than a thousand dead muslims made Mohammed happy. The massacre of course is the result of hostile Israeli-Palestinean relations. Hamas won't stop firing rockets into Israel and is...
Read full storyInternational ABBA Day cancelled
Residents of the Dutch town of Roosendaal breathed a huge sigh of relief today after it was announced that the annual 'International ABBA day' that has been held there for several years has been cancelled by the newly elected Conservative Council.
Read full storyMadoff to Hold Diner Party While Under House Arrest
New York NY: New York newspapers have gotten hold of a copy of an invitation sent to Madoff family members and other guests about their annual Valentines Day formal dinner party. Attached to the invitation was the following letter. This past year...
Read full storyPhilbert of Macadamia Knighted by the Queen
London UK: In a quiet ceremony the Queen bestowed a Knighthood on Philbert of Macadamia. This Knighthood entitles him to all the lands and properties of his forebears. Following a small dinner party with the Royal Family, Sir Philbert retired to his...
Read full storyNadal And Federer On Fire In Australian Open Tennis Final
The top seeds, Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer, finally found their best form in the extreme heat at the Australian Open tennis final in Melbourne today, but were severely hampered when, during a break between games, their racquets caught fire. With...
Read full storyManchester City sign 2 Brazilian strikers at last minute
Manchester City announced the signing of 2 Brazilian strikers, this morning. However it is beginning to emerge that they may have fallen for an expensive "con". At the press conference confirming the £48 million joint signing of "Eranu" and "Uvav...
Read full storySam Allardyce is Grandson of Al Capone
Shock hit the premiership today as the Blackburn manager Sam Allardyce revealed that his grandfather was in fact, famous mafia head Al Capone. "Yes, he was my grandad" confirmed Allardyce, "We visited him a few times when he was on Alcatraz, but t...
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