Americans claim victory in salvage war against the Royal Navy

Funny story written by matwil

Sunday, 1 February 2009

image for Americans claim victory in salvage war against the Royal Navy
'Should be safe from those blasted American pirates here'

An American salvage company, Lucky Strike Exploration, today claimed victory over the British navy, and began looting their ships.

Speaking with a cutlass between his teeth, managing director Barack Beard said 'Ah haaar! Now we's be' havin' fun with this here gold and silver! Be quiet, Polly! Arrrrr...'. And vice chairman Henry Morgan added: 'Finders keepers, losers weepers!', before helping himself to another handful of British sovereigns from a nearby tea chest.

This is the second victory that the American company has had in salvage wars, as last year they defeated the Spanish in what Mr. Beard called 'outrageous theft and pillaging on an impressive scale - me hearties!', and the feeble efforts of the Spaniards to get back their stolen treasure had been met with scorn by the pirate.

'But we be takin' no chances', he added, 'we do be sailin' for the Caribee islands at dawn, or to the Channel Islands or the Bahamas, and leavin' the treasure there in safe 'ands.'

The British Government were sulking on a nearby tropical island, trying to teach the natives there how to play cricket.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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