It was announced today that four peers of the realm face expulsion from the UK's House of Lords. Lords Snowdagain, Hailstone and Gritheroads have all been accused of failing to uphold the traditions and reputation of the House. The 'gang of three' refused to take part in long-standing practices and traditions that have been established for almost 8 years since Tony Blair's reform of the upper house in 2001.
The Lords were trapped in a 'sting' operation run by the Sunday Exposure newspaper and were caught on tape refusing to accept payments to amend the law or to favour companies seeking government contracts. Lord Gritheroads could be clearly heard to say "that would be a both indecent and improper thing to do" on the tape. In another tape, Lord Snowdagain refused to become an executive director of an energy consultancy firm "I'd love to help," he told the undercover reporter "but as a Minister for Energy, taking up the position with your company would be a conflict of interest and so inconsistent with my position in the government". The reporter went on to offer the Lord £100,000 a year 'for not doing very much at all' and was faced with a scornful response "why would I take money from you for not doing very much at all? I am sorry you are wasting my time, I have a full-time job to do at the House…excuse me".
Such a breathtaking break with tradition has not been seen in either House since Harold McMillan turned down the offer of a free chicken sandwich at the opening of the first M1 service station at Watford Gap in 1959. Though this event was only revealed last week under the Cabinet's "50 year secrecy" rule, it is now widely thought that it was this failure to 'cash in' on his position as Prime Minister that led to his failing health and susbequent resignation in 1963.
"It's as well that these breaks with standards are so rare and infrequent," commented Lord Filmepockets, leader of the House. "What would become of democracy if I couldn't send the children to top schools to become leaders of tomorrow, fly my private jet to troublespots like the Maldives at weekends, and buy British cars like Jaguars, Bentleys and Rollers?"
