Pope criticises bishop for 'not being a good Nazi'

Funny story written by matwil

Sunday, 1 February 2009

image for Pope criticises bishop for 'not being a good Nazi'
The Pope on his day off - Sunday

Pope Benedict today cricised Father Gerhard Wagner for 'not being a good National Socialist'.

This follows the priest's controversial comments about New Orleans, as he'd said 'Well, all those people getting up to iffiness in their private lives, it'd not doing any harm, is it?' And earlier he'd said 'And I rather like the Harry Potter books, good fun for children', but the Pope issued the following statement:

'Father Wagner has let down the Roman Catholic Church, as a National Socialist he should be denying the Holocaust, persecuting Jews, and burning J K Rowling's subversive books. And we didn't smuggle lots of leading Nazis into South America to listen to a priest suggesting that tolerance and doing good for others is what Christianity is all about.'

This follows the Pope revoking an excommunication order on another bishop, Father Heinrich Himmler, but only after Himmler had admitted that 'OK, the Holocaust happened, and I was there with a pitchfork. If the British swine hadn't captured me I'd've ended up working for the homeless, or for the rescue services in Louisiana. Thanks, Oberst Ratzinger - I mean Your Holiness.'

Adolf Hitler was a strong admirer of the Roman Catholic Church, and based much of the Nazi Party on it, including mass rallies in uniforms. And the elite Nazi military wing, the SS, was inspired by the Church's Jesuit priests.

'The Fuhrer's work continues', the Pope said, 'and if anyone dares to try and stop us, then the Inquisition will be round to get the torturing going. Wiedersehn!' Jesus Christ was unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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