Washington/Dc/ Global Warming Farce News DEVELOPING - Sidestepping more pressing news, such as the worsening economy, pirates, terrorist attacks, world union strikes, armed strife and unmarried women with 14 children, the President began his attack on "Global Warming" based on a strategy proposed by the Energy Czar Al Gore, known as "The Prince of Darkness" in some circles.
Obama, in a press conference fronted by his evil Siamese Twin, Legal Counsel Greg Craig, who now speaks for the President in order to prevent any more legal gaffes committed by the "articulate" unifier, announced the continued "dumbing down" of the White House with a new dress code.
Suits, Sports Jackets, Ties and especially "Wing Tips" are no longer considered to be "appropriate dress" during the "work week", another optimistic phrase, and are considered "too white" according to White House Sources not authorized to speak on matters of appropriate dress or Race. The mandate also addressed O'Bama's concern that he was just considered "another empty suit."
From now on baggy shorts, Pro sports jerseys, wife beater T's, track suits for males, and thigh high cheer leader outfits for the distaff staff, are "IN" for White House Staff. Wing Tips are "definitely out", flip flops and hi-tops are OK. As a token of modesty, thongs, known as "butt floss" are mandatory as pants continue to sag along with the Nation's Morale.
In keeping with the President's early life experience of growing up in Indonesia, surrounded by mold, fungus, extreme humidity, a climate said to promote socialistic tendencies, O'Bama has mandated that the heat be turned up to 80 degrees in the White House, and has introduced humidifiers to simulate a Rain Forest in a third world country, where he feels more at home.
Unfortunately, the new heat mandate has increased energy expenditures by 25% affecting heating oil, electric and natural gas use. Chief of Staff Emanuel, says Gore had a "hissy fit" and called an emergency Energy Crisis meeting over the weekend to deal with the possible public relations nightmare.
Reacting quickly, and consulting an MIT math major, a carbon exchange program was worked out to "solve" the problem. Though raising costs for a retrofit, the plan to replace light sources in the White House with 40 watt
bulbs, with the exception of the Men's Rooms, which received an earmark from House Finance Barney Frank to go with 20 watt bulbs, since he "enjoys doing his business in a more conducive atmosphere," was approved.
Gore hastily added that over 150 skylights would be added to the White House to add more natural light, while also allowing cross ventilation and enable "Green House Gases" to escape into the atmosphere for a more healthy work environment.
Gore, still weighing over 350 pounds when he bulked up for his role playing look alike Hermann Goering in the Hollywood remake of the WWI flying epic "The Blue Max" detailed in an earlier Spoof, said, "no one wants to come to work in an atmosphere that smells like a Beer Fart in a Frat House Shitter on Sunday morning!"
The President, considered a "white light in a dark suit" only 11 days ago, is now starting to be considered "just another dim bulb" in the Nation's Capitol by some disillusioned Democrats.
One former supporter went further in his assessment of the President and his dress code since he took office saying,"we all thought we were going to get Change...what we got is just another Politician willing to drop his draws and show us his ass when he gets what he wants...he's just another Butt Crack who really don't know no better!"