Astrologer discovers new sign of the Zodiac

Funny story written by Helen Tarnation

Thursday, 24 December 2009

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Hester Chester, psychic and astrologer, has after years of effort discovered a new sign of the Zodiac.

'My predictions were always just a little bit off', she said. 'I knew there had to be another factor at work.'

That factor, it turns out, was a sign of the Zodiac that had been overlooked by astrologers for centuries.

Over the millennia, astrologers have held to a set of 12 signs of the Zodiac: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.

'Since they only worked with twelve signs,' Chester said, 'That means they've all been wrong.'

'Except for Nostradamus', she added. 'He was always spot-on, but he never revealed his discovery of the thirteenth sign. That was what gave him the edge.'

Discoverers are given the courtesy of naming their discoveries, and Chester has selected 'Marmite'.

'It's quite tasty', she says. 'Although, I nearly chose Cheez-Whiz instead.'

Marmite is a sticky, dark brown paste with a distinctive, powerful flavor. It is made from extracts of a fungus and is used as a vegetarian food spread.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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