Manny Pacquiao - Floyd Mayweather Fight On Hold Due to Rump Ranger Allegations

Written by Richard DagNabbit

Thursday, 24 December 2009

image for Manny Pacquiao - Floyd Mayweather Fight On Hold Due to Rump Ranger Allegations
Manny says "I goes both ways - when your not looking!"

The sports desk is reporting that the BIG dollar boxing match between Manny "Hit Ya' Both Ways" Pacquiao and Floyd "I Shower Alone" Mayweather has been put on hold due to claims of Rump Rangering by Pacquiao. Apparently Pacquiao's former sparring partner filed a complaint of sexual rump ranging abuse with the World Boxing Council. The complaint states that while doubled over in the ring, Pacquiao "got a hard on" and quickly moved in back of him while singing "fly like a butterfly, sting like bee".

Mayweather in response to questions from reporters about the complaint stated "Ain't no way I'm goin' into no ring with no rump ranger, he could hit me low, and while I'm bent over, he could put one of those smiley faces on and hammer my four leaf clover".

Mayweather's handlers stated they would be looking into the availability of bunghole chastity belts and steel boxing shorts to protect the fighter.

Fruit Loop Magazine representatives said they would be covering the bout with with former Bed Buddy Barney Frank in in anticipation of getting some photo play of the two in action.

IN other sports news, it is now being reported that over 14,000 sports writers across America are praying for Tiger Woods to resume golfing in order to restore some normalcy in the professional sports arena.

From the Outer Limits,

Dagnabbit Rabbit

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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