NASA Satellite Discovers Colony Of Indians Living On Moon
A futuristic plan by NASA to build a base on the Moon which could support up to 3000 people, has been thrown into chaos, after images beamed back to Earth by one of its orbiting satellites clearly showed that a colony of humans was already living the...
Read full storySachin Tendulkar Leads India Moon Mission
Fresh from its fantastic success in the Second Test match against Australia at Mohali yesterday, India has launched its first manned space mission to the Moon. The Chandrayaan 1 spacecraft blasted off smoothly from a launch pad in southern Andhra...
Read full storyPersonal Guarantee law set to quash disagreements
The Council of Blimey, a small town in northern England, has controversially passed a motion to implement the unique Personal Guarantee Act. In accordance with this groundbreaking ruling, Personal Guarantees can now be used by residents to resolve pe...
Read full storyAnthropologists discover new human sub-race: Decorative-Americans
First there were white-Americans. And they discovered native-Americans. These fled west, forcing white-Americans to invite in African-Americans to share-the-wealth. Anthropologist Professor Alfred Sneikenpeikr from University of California Berke...
Read full storyIndia to the Moon!
India has launched its first foray into space, an unmanned probe to the moon in order to prove once and for all whether or not the moon is truly made out of curry. Expecting to raise a large cloud when the robotic spacecraft lands, Indian scientis...
Read full storyC*nts really are stupid, claim scientists
For years it was considered to be nothing more than a vile insult but scientists have now discovered that c*nts are indeed stupid. "Compared to the common or garden penis", said Professor Swertzer of Kracow University Poland, "cunts are indeed ver...
Read full storyNaked Man Found Wedged in Chimney
London, England - Just when you may have thought the news couldn't get any weirder, police in Pemberton have discovered a naked man wedged in a chimney at a Tesco Express convenience store. Local police spokesperson, PC Soot, conveyed that police...
Read full storyTory peer Lord Bagri linked to Deripaska/Osborne fiasco
London - (Ass Mess): The Oleg Deripaska/George Osborne consipracy circus has discovered yet another vital link in this summer's fisting saga aboard the Russian oligarch's pleasure cruiser the Queen Special-K. It involves Tory peer Lord Bagri, form...
Read full storyDeripaska fiasco: Tories planned yet another Plutonium 210 hit
London - (Radioactive Mess): The Alexander Litvinenko radioactive poisoning enquiry took a sinister new twist today with the news that army scientists from the UK's National Poisons Unit at Porton Down may have been tailing traces of lethal Plutonium...
Read full storyMossad's secret pigeon airborne division swoops on Iran UFO base
Isfahan, Iran - (X-Files Mess): Iranian security sources have blamed Mossad-trained pigeons for a sustained espionage campaign on the country's top secret UFO retro-engineering base near Tabriz. The top secret bunker has been the country's very ow...
Read full storyCringe Factor Judge Overcome by Truth
Simon Cowell, the controversial resident slimeball judge on TV's American Idol and the X-Factor, was rushed to Smegmadale-on-Sea's prestigious Harold Shipman Clinic for Medical Excellence in the early hours of this morning after suffering convulsions...
Read full storySan Francisco Ponders New Proposal to Legalize Prostitution!
San Francisco, Ca /Rolling Stone - This liberal bastion of "anything goes" mentality is now proposing "Proposition K" , a measure that will make it illegal for law enforcement to investigate, arrest or prosecute anyone involved in the prostitution pr...
Read full storyArthur Pewty now an ex-Crime Kingpin
Reputed gangster and organised crime boss Arthur J. Pewty, a shop worn and rather threadbare former Monty Python sketch character (Series 1 / Episode 2 : 1969) was today found dead at his Neasden flat in Norman Wisdom Tower Village. Yes dead, really...
Read full storyMcCain suspends campaign for nap, bingo
LOMBARD, IL (Friggemall Wire Services) - Republican presidential candidate John McCain surprised his staff and supporters by announcing this morning that he is temporarily suspending his campaign for three days, effectively immediately. "There wil...
Read full storyTara Palmer Tomkinson wins annual anagram award
At the annual International Anagram Awards held in a converted 40-foot container in the London Docklands, useless socialite Tara Palmer Tomkinson has swept up the Gold Award. "I'm a plonker moans tart" was thought to be the best anagram of a name...
Read full storyObama Propositioned by Larry Craig And Mark Foley
New York, New York (IPP) - Presidential candidate Obama's tour bus developed a problem with its toilet yesterday on the New York thru-way just outside of New York City and had to pull over at a rest stop so that Obama could use the restroom. Secre...
Read full storyHilllary Picks up Palin's Donated Wardrobe at NY Goodwill Store!
NY/NY /Women's Wear Daily - No one ever said Hillary Clinton didn't know how to find a good deal, from windfall investments to outlandish advances for "Tell Nothing" books. The opportunistic professional politician has scored another coup, scoffin...
Read full storyElection Day Road Blocks Planned
Washington - Law enforcement officials set up road blocks in areas of the country where heavy Democratic voting was predicted during the two elections of 2000 and 2004 and are ready to do it again this year. Dempsey Dumpster is the president of th...
Read full storyIndia seeks colonies on the moon
Facing extreme population pressure, India is finally asking Chandra, the original Indian god of the moon, for living space. An unmanned Chandrayaan 1 spacecraft, which is supposed to deliver the request to the veritable god, blasted off smoothly f...
Read full storyCindy McCain Sponsors Free Beer Oktoberfest to Boost Sagging Husband's Campaign
Germantown, PA - Cindy McCain, CEO and heiress to one of the largest Anheuser-Busch beer distributors in the United States, is taking her husband's flagging presidential campaign directly to the people. Mrs McCain is using her vast beer distr...
Read full storyPowell accuses Obama of being a shape-shifting alien
Colin Powell the former US General and Secretary of State to George W Bush has astounded political commentators when he publicly accused presidential pretender Barak Obama of being a shape-shifting alien. "I think he [Barack Obama] would be a tran...
Read full storyQM2 Sinking
The QM2, the Queen's own yacht, is sinking, on its voyage from New York to Southampton, it's being reported. In a complete reversal of the maiden, and final, voyage of the Titanic in 1912, the QM2 has hit an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean, and is c...
Read full storyBendy-bus enrages Boris Johnson
Bendy-buses are to be phased out for certain after Mayor for London, Boris Johnson, has been offended by the slogan "There's probably no God" which is the idea of the British Humanist Association (BHA) supported by prominent atheist Professor Richard...
Read full storyStarbucks save the planet
In a leaked memo last week it was revealed that every Starbucks in the UK leaves a tap running constantly in the kitchen. Mocka Chinolatty, head of Starbucks, on hearing the news, instantly interrupted one press conference on Minimum Wage From Tip...
Read full storyCongress Reforms Bankruptcy Law
WASHINGTON, D.C. - UPDATE 1 - The U.S. Congress today passed, and the President quickly signed into law, legislation protecting Americans from losing all their possessions in these difficult times of financial crisis -- a time when banks need more mo...
Read full storyTory Osbournevsky Played Russian Roulette in Corfu!
The Conservative Party in Jolly Ole England may have sought to become a Russian satellite. George "Giorgi Osbournevsky" spent some pretty quality time with a Russian oligarch this summer in Corfu. Oleg Deripaska, a Russian tycoon, was seemingly c...
Read full storyIndia launches first Moon-based curry stand
India has successfully launched its first mission to the Moon and begun construction on their long-awaited lunar-based Indian food stand. The Chandrayaan 1 spacecraft blasted off smoothly from a launch pad in southern Andhra Pradesh to embark on a...
Read full storyThe Bradley "Butterfly" Effect recreated at CERN for the last time
Washington, D.C. - Under the cover story of having to shutdown the LHC experiment early at CERN for repairs, the GOP has been secretly conducting a little experiment of its own. Disguised as the facility's janitorial crew, mopping up floors, chan...
Read full storyMcCain Reveals that He is Sicker than Obama's Granny!
Medical experts have been frustrated by the limited access to the candidates' health records. Nothing has appeared on Palin except for some tantalizing hints of frostbite and megalomania; Biden won't reveal the full details of the persistent tric...
Read full storyPalin Aligns with Baby Killing NOW: I hope to get my foto in the dictionary under desperate!
Sarah Palin, the unconsummated Christian Conservative, is so desperate to get out of Alaska and live on the unpatriotic east coast that she is appearing on stage with pro-abortion members of the National Organization of Women. She has become a fe...
Read full storyDr Death Assists in Ford Motors Suicide
While the original Dr Death whiles away the hours in penitentiary without any penitence a new daring advocate for assisted suicide has risen on the scene. Kirk Kekorkian is the death doctor of terminally ill corporations. Today the K.K Killa bail...
Read full storyPalin Waltzes with Walrus to Prove They're not Endangered
A cartoon video is circulating the internet, showing Sarah Palin or Tina Fey dancing with a big, fat, healthy walrus The video is for an evidentiary brief, filed in Federal court, to prevent the walrus from joining the polo bear and the Beluga wha...
Read full storySarah Palin Association with Radical Pastor Revealed
In a shocking story which is sure to delight Democrats everywhere, we can exclusively reveal that Republican Vice Presidential running mate Sarah Palin has had a long standing relationship with a radical pastor. The pastor, an Inuit Holy Man with...
Read full storyRootin' Tootin' Putin
Moscow - Those who have been concerned what Vladimir Putin would do once he steps down from politics can now sleep easy. Putin has revealed that he is a world champion black belt level fartistnik. Starting in November he plans a world tour under the...
Read full storyObama Plan to "Relieve Tension" in Urban Democratic Cities: Bus 'em to Vermont, NH and Maine!
Mt. Washington Observatory,NH/ The Mountain Ear - Speaking from his new North Eastern Regional Command Center, President by Acclimation Barack Hussein Obama expounded on his solution to black on black crime and tension in the nation's urban cities.
Read full storySpurs and Westham grounds to merge
Following the recent bank and team failures it may be that spuds and westspam will merge. Struggling teams Tottering Hot Spuds and WestSpam have been linked to a multi-pound merger that would leave each of their fans slightly miffed. The ultima...
Read full storyCreepy Gnome Returns
Argentina's Creepy Gnome reappeared last week in a new locale, the town of Clodomira, Santiago del Estero province. Similar to the first episode, the phone-video sequence starts with footage of young people out late talking and dancing. Soon a black speck is visible on the screen moving up the dimly lit street toward the group. As it draws closer, the pointy-headed pygmy can be made out strolling...
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