Washington - Law enforcement officials set up road blocks in areas of the country where heavy Democratic voting was predicted during the two elections of 2000 and 2004 and are ready to do it again this year.
Dempsey Dumpster is the president of the American Police Chiefs Union. He has promised to once again deliver the presidency to the Republicans this year. Dempsey told reporters that he has coordinated his efforts with the president of the National Association of Sheriffs and that both groups would set up safety check points in areas heavily travelled by Democratic voters.
The police and sheriff officials behind this plan rely heavily on demographic studies and on a computer program that goes by the name of "Socialist-Be-Gone" (SBG) which is extremely accurate and has an error rate of only .01 percent.
"Our efforts really will make a difference again this year with election results predicted to be very close and we plan once again on delivering this election to the Republicans" repeated Dempsey.