Written by Morse

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

image for Hilllary Picks up Palin's Donated Wardrobe at NY Goodwill Store!
Hillary's Seamstress When confronted With Monumental Challenge of Altering Bottom Half of Palin's Pant Suit!

NY/NY /Women's Wear Daily - No one ever said Hillary Clinton didn't know how to find a good deal, from windfall investments to outlandish advances for "Tell Nothing" books.

The opportunistic professional politician has scored another coup, scoffing up Governor Sarah Palin's entire donated wardrobe at the local Goodwill store for a song!

Since being on the campaign trail the photogenic VP candidate has been on the receiving end of over $150,000 in upgraded outfits from leading women's fashion labels. As part of the deal the Governor's existing wardrobe has been donated to charity, and as soon as the campaign is over, the new rags will be donated as well.

A Goodwill spokesman said the NY Senator , her wardrobe assistant, a Vietnamese seamstress, and a horde of all female Secret Service Agents, swarmed the 42nd Street store the minute it opened.

The store operates similar to the now famous Fillene's Basement where at any given time hundreds of aging matrons can be seen stripped to their underwear trying on marked down designer clothing.

Agents immediately surrounded the Pants Suit rack in order to give the Senator "first crack" of the many stunning choices. Quickly stripping down to her white spanky pants and Maidenform bra, the brazen Senator began trying on outfits with advice from her personal seamstress.

Speaking in Vietnamese through a Secret Service interpreter, a store employee understood the seamstress to say that the Senator should buy up half the tops and she could easily take them in, but that she should scoop up all the bottoms. She then demonstrated how two pair of pants could be altered by removing one leg from each, to seamlessly cover the Senators ample posterior.

Moving on to sportswear the Senator seemed taken with two stunning satin and leather snowmobile suits. Originally designed for a roomy action fit, Hillary with the help of 4 agents and a bottle of Wesson Oil managed to slide into the suits. The ever attentive seamstress allied Hillary's fears about future fittings by explaining how she could replace the body length zipper with Velcro so she could easily dress herself.

One of the Senator's spokespersons said she was extremely excited about her new wardrobe, and she was off to the eye doctor to see about getting rid of her contacts and replacing them with a pair of Palin's designer eye glass models.

The Senator's plans for the next few weeks before the election were unclear, but there are rumors she will be appearing on Saturday Night Live along with the deceased Chris Farley who has been playing the Senator in skits.

Senator Charles Wrangle (sic) has denied reports that the Senator and her husband, former President Bill Clinton have booked his romantic Dominican Republic retreat to "renew their vows" and "role play".

This comment seems to be in contradiction to the former President's open mike remaarks at his recent roast, where he was heard confiding to Jesse Jackson "that it's been a long time since I've had a LITTLE ass!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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