Gary Litter sues newspapers

Funny story: Gary Litter sues newspapers

A man from Hertfordshire is suing the newspapers for making his life a misery both at work and in his local neighbourhood. Gary Litter, who lives in Hertfordshire, is being hounded and suppressed by some quite illiterate readers of the Sun and Da...

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Shilpa Shetty blames Jade Goody's 'landfill site' vagina for medical woes

Funny story: Shilpa Shetty blames Jade Goody's 'landfill site' vagina for medical woes

Mumbai - (Tasteless Crap Mess): Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty has hinted that 'having a vagina like a landfill site' is more likely than bad karma to be responsible for Celebrity Big Racist ranter Jade Goody's medical woes. The Big Boss star tol...

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Pelosi needs a good Drilling

Funny story: Pelosi needs a good Drilling

(USA Today) - Nancy Pelosi says to "just say NO" to drilling. Former President Bill Clinton replied "maybe a good drilling will make her a little less tense". Nancy Pelosi stands by her stance to not hold a vote on offshore drilling stating "this...

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Friday's Sun in Virgo spells oblivion for Hellfire Club deception

Funny story: Friday's Sun in Virgo spells oblivion for Hellfire Club deception

Cosmos - (Satanic Mess): Thursday's magnificent Sun/Pluto trine and Mercury/Venus conjunction is the perfect smokescreen to foil the monstrous self confidence of Hellfire Club mobsters like UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown. That is the celestial pre...

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The power of music

A new device has been recently tested that scientists believe will make Britian's streets a safer place. The invention in question is already a hit with OAPs who have had the use of it for two months. "Absolutely brilliant, the yobs flee like c...

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Mel Gibson plans "The Passion" sequel

Funny story: Mel Gibson plans "The Passion" sequel

Bollywood CA - In a frank interview today, Mel Gibson admitted that he had not read the whole Bible when he made his hit film "The Passion" The 2004 film, which consisted of Jesus being beaten up in a garden, then a Temple, after that a Roman cour...

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Lies, damned lies and Chinese Olympic finance whoppers

Funny story: Lies, damned lies and Chinese Olympic finance whoppers

NATO HQ, Brussels - (Hoo Flung Dung Mess): Official: Mystery oil tycoons paid for Beijing Olympics. And NATO bigwigs have told Beijing's self-etiolating Olympic Committee eunuchs the shit will now hit the fan about just who paid for those 2008 Game...

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Theremins used in Mind Control Experiment

Funny story: Theremins used in Mind Control Experiment

Unconfirmed reports out of the Pentagon suggest the harmless musical instrument the Theremin is secretly being used in scary mind control experiments led by the US government. The link was discovered when Maggie Bleriot from Toronto, Canada tried...

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Babe 3 - "Piggy in the Middle" - set to smash box office

Funny story: Babe 3 - "Piggy in the Middle" - set to smash box office

Hollywood CA - Following the success of 'Babe' and 'Babe 2- Pig in the City', Steven Sielberg announced today that his Dreamworks Company has bought the rights for a third fim: 'Babe 3 - Piggy in the middle'. In the third episode of the pork franc...

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Hoodies to learn the Bagpipes

Funny story: Hoodies to learn the Bagpipes

In a bid to crack down on the wearing of Hoodies, Government officials are to make teenagers learn the bagpipes. It is believed that the wearing of Hoodies would stop if this was the case. Hoodie's who liked the sound of Bagpipes would find a natu...

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Strictly TV

Funny story: Strictly TV

Following the expose of the art of conducting, BBC TV has now launched a new programme for the Autumn Schedule, called Strictly Rocket Science. The show, which is to be hosted by Vernon Kay and Su Pollard features a number of little known celebrit...

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Christiano Ronaldo Breaks A Finger Nail

The news came out today from Man Utd physio Emma Roid that the Portugese cry baby Christiano Ronaldo has broken a finger nail and will be unavailable for the remainder of the season to recover. When he was interviewed today he didn't talk he just sho...

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Michael Schumacher becomes White Van Man and sees Red!

Funny story: Michael Schumacher becomes White Van Man and sees Red!

Former ex-Formula 1 ace, Michael Schumacher has managed to find new employment as a Courier driver in Ashford in Kent. Used to driving at high speeds, the German thought it would be the ideal job for him with the bonus that he would have a big white...

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Countdown Conundrum

Funny story: Countdown Conundrum

Auditions are now underway for a replacement for Carol Vorderman, erstwhile presenter of Student favourite, Countdown. The shortlist is now of actress and the voice of Penny Crayon, Su Pollard, star of 'Most Probably not actually haunted' Yvette F...

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Federer Blames Gavin Rossdale For Loss Of Form

Funny story: Federer Blames Gavin Rossdale For Loss Of Form

Roger Federer has blamed his recent decline in form on Bush singer Gavin Rossdale, in an astonishing interview with Swiss newspaper Cheese & Cuckoo Clocks daily. Federer, who has lost the number one spot to Nadal, stated that Rossdale was '...

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Radcliffe is Fit

Funny story: Radcliffe is Fit

Actor, Daniel Radcliffe is representing Great Britain in the Beijing Olympics later this week. Since appearing in a play, 'Equus' where he appeared as a nude stableboy, Radcliffe, was chased by hundred of teenage fans and found a new challenge. The 2...

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"I'm not a lesbian!" claims ancient Welsh Queen

Funny story: "I'm not a lesbian!" claims ancient Welsh Queen

Cardiff, UK - Children in the Welsh capital of Cardiff claim that they have contacted the long-dead wife of King Offa through a ouija board. 'Offa's Dyke' was an ancient Welsh fortification similar to Hadrian's wall. In 2002, noted Oxford Professo...

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Vampire Convention In Denver Next Week

Funny story: Vampire Convention In Denver Next Week

Denver CO-- Vampires will meet in Denver next week for their own national convention. The vamps meet once every fifty years to make policy changes and elect new leaders. There should be no interference with the Democratic Convention. Buffy Legosi...

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Paris Hilton: The Day I Found Out Gary Glitter Is My Dad

Funny story: Paris Hilton: The Day I Found Out Gary Glitter Is My Dad

Los Angeles - (Lurid Ass Mess): Pointless socialite Paris Hilton has spoken for the first time today about her shock at finding out that 'glamrock' (oh, per-leeze!) singer Gary Glitter is her birth father. An LA FagHagSlagMag interview recounts ho...

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Canadian Singer Admits Partial Responsibility For Man's Suicide

Funny story: Canadian Singer Admits Partial Responsibility For Man's Suicide

Canadian singer, poet and novelist Lenny Coburg has admitted partial responsibility for a man's suicide in Delaware last week. The man, as yet, still unnamed, was found dead last Saturday hanging by his testicles from a coat hook, say police, afte...

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E-Bay sold on E-Bay

Funny story: E-Bay sold on E-Bay

In a bizarre twist, E-Bay owners put their website up for sale on their own website under "Businesses for Sale". The reserve price of $5 billion was soon met with bids by microsoft, applemac and Amazon. However, the winning bid was made by Bloombe...

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Gary Glitter Flees To Hong Kong For Olympic Equestrian Final

Funny story: Gary Glitter Flees To Hong Kong For Olympic Equestrian Final

Gary Glitter, the world's most famous paedophile, flew fleeing into Hong Kong today for Thursday's Olympic Equestrian Individual Jumping final. The ex-popstar left jail in Vietnam on Tuesday, and flew to Thailand to see his fans there, but was ref...

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Paul McCartney to marry Yoko Ono

Funny story: Paul McCartney to marry Yoko Ono

Sir Paul McCartney announced today that he is to marry childhood sweetheart Yoko Ono, widow of his former songwriting and sparring partner John Lennon. "Few people know this but Yoko's Japanese family used to run our local Chinese takeaway when I...

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Aled Jones converts to Islam

Funny story: Aled Jones converts to Islam

Cardiff, Welsh Wales - Former choirboy turned screeching singer Aled Jones has converted to Islam and will now be known as Ahmed Jones. He said at a press conference that he wished to follow in the footsteps of his childhood hero Cat Stevens, now kno...

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Algeria Is Going To Sell Sand To UK

Funny story: Algeria Is Going To Sell Sand To UK

Algeria is going to sell a lot of its sand to the UK which is getting higher and higher sea levels. Its so high that it will soon be under water! Global Warming is a thing caused by humans. Its the climate changing and weather changing. The world...

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Usain Bolt Falls Over, Still Wins In 200m Final

Funny story: Usain Bolt Falls Over, Still Wins In 200m Final

Usain Bolt, the Jamaican 'quick man', had a setback in todays' 200m sprint final when he fell over, but still won, breaking the World Record in the process. Terminator Bolt flew out of the blocks, but stumbled, and shattered into a million tiny pi...

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Blackburn to sign the entire Liverpool team of 2001

The announcement that Paul Ince had signed veteran Robbie Fowler for Blackburn indicated the conclusion of the first part in the wily manager's faultless plan: to sign the entire Liverpool team of 2001. The entire team, including players such as...

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Cindy McCain: "I'm buying the presidency for John's birthday."

Funny story: Cindy McCain: "I'm buying the presidency for John's birthday."

Phoenix, AZ - Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, told a group of reporters that she is going to buy the presidency of the United States as a gift for John's seventy-second birthday. "I know it's what he really wan...

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Rowling to Write Potter Series Spin-Off

Funny story: Rowling to Write Potter Series Spin-Off

Harry Potter author JK Rowling recently confirmed the internet rumors that she was writing a series spinoff. "Harry Potter and the Slacker Sibs," the first in a new series about the wizard's midlife crisis and confrontations with the increasingly rad...

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GDI Monday's Restaurants to Launch Nationwide

Funny story: GDI Monday's Restaurants to Launch Nationwide

In an effort to expand its product offerings in a slumping economy the TGI Friday's restaurant chain is launching a new chain GDI Monday's. GDI Monday's will focus on breakfast entries, especially highly caffeinated coffees and breakfast foods overdo...

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New Yorker Obama Cover a Hit with Racists and Xenophobes

Funny story: New Yorker Obama Cover a Hit with Racists and Xenophobes

Weeks after the release of New Yorker's now infamous "Obama" cover, depicting the candidate and his wife as terrorists, the image continues to be the file most often downloaded by radical right wingers, militia groups, the KKK and fundamentalist Chri...

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Spielberg signs deal for Gary Glitter story

Funny story: Spielberg signs deal for Gary Glitter story

Hollywood US - Movie Mogul Steven Spielberg announced today that he has signed a deal to make a film of Gary Glitter's latest escapade. "I was watching the news last night and saw the story about this Glitter Guy being stuck in an airport termina...

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Fat people to power giant hamster wheels

Funny story: Fat people to power giant hamster wheels

HEALTH and energy chiefs have unveiled a plan to make fat people power turbines by forcing them to run in giant hamster wheels. Government research teams from the Department of Health and the Department of Energy joined forces and spent five month...

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New Global Warming Theory Proposed

Paris France, August 20, 2008: Dr. Felix G. Teton (PHD), a professor of mathematics, at the Sorbonne University announced today that the "Hockey Stick" curve is a false predictor of increasing climate temperature change. He says that "I have develope...

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Spoof writer Monkey Woods fired up by 'arse-on' charges

Funny story: Spoof writer Monkey Woods fired up by 'arse-on' charges

Dudley, Yorks - (Ass Mess): Veteran Spoof! writer Monkey Woods is said to be incandescent today after Tipton fire chiefs blamed him for the blaze that destroyed a 500-acre petrol refinery following a windbreaking demonstration that went horribly arse...

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Arse Fire Causes Pounds Worth Of Damage

Funny story: Arse Fire Causes Pounds Worth Of Damage

A 12-year-old boy has been taken to hospital with horrific burns after blowing up a petrol can whilst breaking wind. The accident happened in the Black Country town of Tipton, near Dudley, where the boy, along with his cousin, was having a Fart-li...

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Olympic Medals revealed to have magical properties

Funny story: Olympic Medals revealed to have magical properties

In a stunning breakthrough, UK scientists have shown that Olympic Medals have curious properties when collected in large batches. Effects include the disappearance of Human Rights Issues and the ability to cause depression in Australians. "We look...

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Victoria Pendleton Romantically Linked With Tony Blair

Funny story: Victoria Pendleton Romantically Linked With Tony Blair

Victoria Pendleton, the British Olympic cycling sprint gold medal winner, is today the subject of a story linking her romantically with the former Prime Minster Tony Blair. Blair was in the Velodrome to see Pendleton win her race on Tuesday, and s...

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Olympic Shock - Swimming World Records and Medals stripped as pool is found to be too short!

Funny story: Olympic Shock - Swimming World Records and Medals stripped as pool is found to be too short!

Beijing, China - The Olympic swimming world was rocked today by the announcement that all swimming records have been cancelled and all medal winners are to be stripped of their awards after officials confirmed that the pool in the Water Cube falls sh...

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Glitter Named New Host of Countdown

Funny story: Glitter Named New Host of Countdown

Sources have claimed that convicted paedophile Gary Glitter, who looked like he was a bit iffy throughout the 70's but you couldn't quite pinpoint why, is to take over from frail crooner Des O'Connor as host of the cult words and numbers quiz Countdo...

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Madonna Tells Hubby "You've Had Your Chips"

Funny story: Madonna Tells Hubby "You've Had Your Chips"

After months of claims that it is "hanging by a thread", reports have emerged today that the turbulent marriage of superstar dancing rabbi Madonna and cheeky cockney market trader Guy Richie is finally over - after she spent the night of her mileston...

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Five Tips for a Flat Stomach - Hoax!

Funny story: Five Tips for a Flat Stomach - Hoax!

Five Tips for a Flat Stomach, the irritating advertisement which is currently popping up on the pages of TheSpoof has been exposed as a hoax! Brendan Ballsucker, a regular reader of TheSpoof was the man who discovered the truth. 'Five Tips for...

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Olympics Closing Ceremony To Include Ritual Animal Sacrifices

Funny story: Olympics Closing Ceremony To Include Ritual Animal Sacrifices

The Closing Ceremony at the Beijing Olympics is to be an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza which will also include a wonderful fireworks display, and the ritual sacrifice of 2008 chickens and 8 bulls. 8 is a lucky number in China, but not for...

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New reality show for cattle starting on Channel 5

Funny story: New reality show for cattle starting on Channel 5

In a further ground-breaking televisual broadcast, Channel 5 are hittng back at Channel 4 with a new reality show of their own. "Big Udder", due to be screened in the Autumn, will offer the opportunity for cattle to "get on the box and do their th...

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Clooney "Judy Finnigan's Tits have Ruined my Love Life"

Funny story: Clooney "Judy Finnigan's Tits have Ruined my Love Life"

In a sensational outburst on UK television, enigmatic commitment phobic George Clooney has revealed that he hasn't had an orgasm with a woman since the Millenium. Clooney (47), the second sexiest man on the planet whose thumbs are reportedly insu...

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Day I saw Queen fall Arse over Tit

Funny story: Day I saw Queen fall Arse over Tit

Illegal Igor told last night how the Queen fell on her Royal arse at a banquet at Buckingham Palace when a footman pulled out a chair too far as she went to sit on it. The Russian called it a "famous incident" which gave the staff a secret chuckle...

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Chinese Government Commands Beijing's Canine Cuisine to STAY!

Funny story: Chinese Government Commands Beijing's Canine Cuisine to STAY!

As the Olympiad comes to China, the Chinese government has commanded Beijing's restaurants to tell their dog meat dishes to stay...stay home! Chinese gourmets are protesting the removal of one of their best friends from the Bow-Wow Beijing menu.

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Goodie Goodling Stars in Justice Department Crucible!

Funny story: Goodie Goodling Stars in Justice Department Crucible!

In the witch hunt of the summer, the Bush Justice Department has turned into a Salem Crucible. At the center of the trials stands one cute blonde necromancer, Monica "Goodie" Goodling. Accusations against her involve her use of the dark Rovian powers...

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McCain Names Britney Spears and Paris Hilton as Co- Vices!

Funny story: McCain Names Britney Spears and Paris Hilton as Co- Vices!

John McCain in a vane attempt at shaking the GOP (Grandpa Old Poopiepants) stigma of old age and incontinence has decided to pack his stable, er, ticket with some celebrity hotties. Political commentators have been unanimous in their positive evaluat...

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Spoof Corrections: Sorry, We F*cked Up!

Funny story: Spoof Corrections: Sorry, We F*cked Up!

Thespoof.com has been remiss over the years for not acknowledging some of our more flagrant errors in reporting: * Mrs. Churchill did not have iron curtains * Truman beat Dewey by two lengths in the 5th at Pimlico * Eisenhower did not invent the light weight jacket. He was in fact the developer of Eisen hower glass. * Reagan did not succeed Eisenhower. In fact, he did not succeed at al...

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Antikythera Mechanism Proves to Have Had Important Role on Ancient Isle of Lesbos!

Funny story: Antikythera Mechanism Proves to Have Had Important Role on Ancient Isle of Lesbos!

Many ancient authors, Cicero among them, wrote about a magnificent machine possibly invented by Archimedes. Archaeologists believe that they have found this device amid the wreckage of an ancient ship off the coast of the Greek Island of Lesbos.The m...

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John McCain and His Rovian Princes of Darkness Are Sick and Tired of Running Against a Black Person!

Funny story: John McCain and His Rovian Princes of Darkness Are Sick and Tired of Running Against a Black Person!

As McCain get grumpy and the Rovian Princes of Darkness gather round the cauldron, one fact of the '08 election became clear. Running against a Negro is a tough hoe to row. Or is it a tough row to hoe? Whichever, or both, Johnny McC is beginning to s...

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Osama's Chauffeur's Non- Recommendation Letters!

Funny story: Osama's Chauffeur's Non- Recommendation Letters!

Most corporate human resource professionals have learned to read between the lines. The Gitmo Terror Trials have produced some of the most non-committal and even blatantly neutral letters of wreck for Salim Hamdan, Osama Bin Laden's driver. 9-...

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Mighty Mouse Banned from Cartoon Olympics for Illegal Performance Enhancing Cheeses!

Funny story: Mighty Mouse Banned from Cartoon Olympics for Illegal Performance Enhancing Cheeses!

Children across the world have been inspired by the operatic aria: "Here I come to save the day/ Because Mighty Mouse in on his way!" Sad to announce the sports world today learned that there was more in the ripped rodent's whey than curds! Ca...

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Joe Torre Develops Boil on his Ass!

Funny story: Joe Torre Develops Boil on his Ass!

There have been tree tumors that look like the Virgin Mary and bagels with burn marks that resemble the kosher Son of God but the recent bizarre development in Los Angeles tops them all. Former Yankee manager, Joe Torre has told TheSpoof.com that...

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Anglican Archbishop Rowan Wittwon-Oar Steers Church on Third World Circle!

Funny story: Anglican Archbishop Rowan Wittwon-Oar Steers Church on Third World Circle!

The Archbishop of Canterbury has decided to follow the advice of African Anglican witch doctors in an effort to resolve the long standing conflict over sex in the Anglican Church. Archbishop Rowan Wittwon-Oar claims to have had a revelation while att...

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Victoria Pendleton Victory: National Anthem Lyrics To Be Changed

Funny story: Victoria Pendleton Victory: National Anthem Lyrics To Be Changed

'Bird on a bike', Victoria Pendleton, won gold in the Womens Pursuit at the Olympic Velodrome, and afterwards, it was revealed that the lyrics to the National Anthem are to be adapted in recognition of her tremendous efforts. The Queen has bowed t...

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Gary Glitter Performs A One-Nighter In Bangkok

Gary Glitter, the popular English musician and paedophile, has performed a spontaneous one-night show for airline staff, police and immigration officials at Bangkok Airport on his way back to the UK. Glitter, real name Shitter, told his captors th...

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