Glitter Named New Host of Countdown

Funny story written by Mrs Kensington

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

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Sources have claimed that convicted paedophile Gary Glitter, who looked like he was a bit iffy throughout the 70's but you couldn't quite pinpoint why, is to take over from frail crooner Des O'Connor as host of the cult words and numbers quiz Countdown.

The shock move is the latest controversial chapter in the history of the once loved show, which was first broadcast in 1982 from the late Richard Whitely's garden shed in Dewsbury.

A spokesman was defiant when asked if he felt that it was appropriate for a convicted sex offender to appear on primetime television:

"We are very proud to do our bit for the rehabilitation of criminals, and in partnership with Mr Glitter's probation officer we are committed to ensuring that he is kept safely away from minors. We are confident that there will be nobody under the age of 80 within a mile's radius of the Countdown studios, making this the safest environment for paedophiles in Britain".

Glitter was unavailable for comment today but recently axed host, chipper Des O'Connor (103), whose wife is more than 80 years younger than him, told reporters, "Well, I'm looking forward to spending more time watching my wife sunbathing in the garden".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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