Phoenix, AZ - Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, told a group of reporters that she is going to buy the presidency of the United States as a gift for John's seventy-second birthday.
"I know it's what he really wants, but don't say anything to him. It's going to be a surprise."
Mrs. McCain has an estimated worth of $100 million. Asked how she planned to buy the presidency in a country where the president is elected, McCain laughed.
"Elected. Oh, that's right. I forgot. You're cute. Seriously, I've already put a down payment on it with the RNC, FOX News, ABC, and Diebold. All I need to do now is figure out how to wrap it."
John McCain's birthday is August 29, and Mrs. McCain said she will surprise him with the gift at a party in Phoenix.
"Year after year I get him ties or a Rolex or another villa in Tuscany…predictable things. This year will be special. He'll be so surprised."
A reporter mentioned laws prohibiting such a gift, but Mrs. McCain was undaunted.
"Don't be absurd. This is America. Laws are for the silly little people. Now, you're making me late for my Botox. Ciao."