Ken Livingstone - "Boris Is My Baby" Shock!
The London Today TV programme today revealed that London's Mayor, Ken Livingstone, has fathered five children by three different women.
Read full storyJoe Cole's Shorts too short for UEFA
Chelsea footballer Joe Cole has been hauled before football's governing body, UEFA to explain why he continues to wears extra-short shorts despite two previous warnings and a £10,000 fine.
Read full storyBarak stole bowling balls - High school coach
HNN (Henman News Network)- High school coach of democrat Barak Obama - Paul Whitebottom claims that the democrat often stole bowling balls during his practice sessions and was never actually in his bowling squad.
Read full storyAmerican Idol needs more sexy Mexicans says Simon
Simon Cowell of American Idol has said that next year American Idol needed hot young latin chicks as they were better than the country and western and soul singers.
Read full storyMost sexy women are Latinas says movie star
Movie star Christian Bale has said he would love to co-star opposite a sexy Latina as they are the most sexiest ladies in the world!...
Read full storySexy latinas look for love with white Americans
Latina girls are far more sexy than latino men which explains why more latina women are being woed by rich Americans who treat their ladies far better than pig headed latino men.
Read full storyRoger Federer to take lead role in re-launch of Seinfeld
The most original situation comedy ever is to be revived, a spokesperson for NBC told a delighted world today. But, he warned, there will be one or two differences.
Read full storyDaniel Radders Strikes Again And Gets A Nose Enlargement
Earlier on this fine day Radzo (as we are calling him now) had the nose job he has been waiting for years.
Read full storyLivingstone denies My-Lean Ass is his daughter
London - (Ass Mess): London Mayor Ken Livingstone has denied that pianist and former Hear'Say pop singer Myleene Klass is his daughter.
Read full storyNaomi Campbell in T5 police punch-up
Heathrow - (Terminal Mess): Sultry supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested at Heathrow Airport today after a feisty police punch-up.
Read full storyKnicks Give Up, Cite Safety Issues
The New York Knicks announced today that they will not be completing the season.
Read full storyNigella Lawson's breasts on the web for free - and they are hot!
Nigella Lawson, voluptuous cook, has declared that she is to put her breasts on the web for absolutely no charge - and she particularly hopes that men will take up the offer.
Read full storyA Candidate To Die For
Detroit (Euthanasia Daily)-Having weathered the life-and-death struggles of a controversial "end game" physician and survived a lengthy prison sentence for his questionable medical procedures, it seems only...
Read full storyBig Fat F**ker eats the last sausage
Stunned diners at the McWiggerdly household were left distraught after watching their 10 year old fat fucker of a son eat the last sausage in the entire house.
Read full storyLondon Mayor Caught With Pants Down
Sources close to London mayor Ken Livingstone have admitted today that his position is fast becoming untenable after he was photographed with his underpants around his ankles in a public convenience near City Hall.
Read full storyMajor News
Scientists have revealed that many Children born in the 1970's and 1980's had their first exposure to music from Major Morgan.
Read full storyBig Oil to drill between your cushions
As Big Oil representatives were being grilled on Capitol Hill about their massive profits of $40 billion last year, the spokesmen successfully turned the microscope on consumers, saying that Joe Average has way too much disposable income and the comp...
Read full storyCrocodile Rescues Mate In 'Human Attack'
(Northern Territory) A saltwater crocodile has made a dramatic rescue after his mate was involved in an unprovoked attack by a human male in the Litchfield National Park near Darwin in Australia's Northern Territ...
Read full storyBrain Dead Gym quack is new No 10 education adviser
London - (Ass Mess): Prof Sir Roy Meadow has been appointed as a top education adviser to UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown following a seminal cabinet decision to invest heavily in a Californian educational pseudo-science import called Brain Gym.
Read full story'Do Not Mention Ze Vor' Mosley tells German motor industry
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): FIA CEO Max Mosley has hit back at German motorcar manufacturers, flaming an already seething tabloid war about his Nazi S&M orgy which has so enlivened the F1 sport.
Read full storyDecapitation: police identify woman
Angus, Scotland - (Off-With-Her-Head Mess): Tayside Police have finally identified the woman whose head "and two left feet" were found on a beach at Carnoustie.
Read full storyMax Mosely To Become A Rapper
FIA President and all round nice guy Max Mosely sensationally revealed that he is to become a rapper - under the name Maxy M.
Read full storyAn Interview With Rupert 'Ginger' Grint
After what happened with his co-star Daniel Radcliffe, I must say I am some what put off to interview Rupert Grint, but I am reassured that he is a lot different to his saucy fellow wizard, so sceptically I arrive at the respectable cafe the young ginger suggested we meet.
Read full story2008 Grand National Betting Latest
The 2008 John Smith's Grand National gets under way at Aintree racecourse this Saturday April 5th, amid the usual controversy and kerfuffle over the safety of the horses, race-fixing and the unre...
Read full storyLiverpool Play In Black To Honour Frank Butcher
Liverpool and Arsenal played out a dull 1-1 draw in their Champions' League Quarter Final first leg last night, with the Merseyside club playing in black to honour former EastEnders star and Runaround host Frank Butcher, who was one of their biggest...
Read full storyDwain Chambers To Ride Grand National Favourite
Dwain Chambers, the drugs cheat sprinter who signed for Castleford Rugby League Club this week, has further astonished sports fans by announcing that he is to ride the favourite White Powder in this...
Read full storyEastEnders Peggy Mitchell Tells Pat Butcher "Ged Arda Mar Pab!"
There was intense drama and skilful scriptwriting evident in Tuesday's edition of British soap EastEnders, when Barbara Windsor, played by Peggy Mitchell, ordered Pam St Clements (Pat Butcher) to "Ge...
Read full storyNATO Humiliates George Bush, Then Watches Audrina Patridge Porno Shots
BUCHAREST (FMLiveWire) -- President Bush suffered a humiliating setback on Wednesday as NATO allies gave him the finger over his plea to make Ukraine and Georgia members in the Western military alliance.
Read full storySteingrabber Conjoined Twins Fire A-Rod and Hire Florida Marlins
When Hal and Hank, the conjoined twin sons of Baron George Von Steingrabber, the now senile, and always demented owner of the NY Yankees, realized that their Teutonic and two-ton Papa had paid Alex Rodriguez as much as the entire salary of the Florid...
Read full storyGaping Holes: Great Wall of Bush
Michael Chertoff, Secretary of Homeland Security announced on Monday that his department will invoke some extraordinary powers granted by the U. S. Congress in the legislation authorizing and mandating the construction of a fence along the border bet...
Read full storyUS Expert, Ambassador Watt A, Crock Critiques Iraqi Invasion of Basra
The same US military experts who brought us the disastrous failure of the War in Iraq with its 4,000 dead US soldiers and hundreds of thousands of new Iraqi cemetery plots are finding fault with the Iraqi government's invasion of militia-held Bas...
Read full storyBritish Occupiers in Basra Memorialized in "The Retreat of The Light Brigade"
British literary critics are celebrating the mysterious aoppearance of a new poem about the UK's Bush-Blair Blunder in Iraq.
Read full storyBush Sulks Following Booing
Since Bush got booed at the Washington National's Opening Day Game, as he threw out the first pitch, as far out of the strike zone as his entire administration's disasterous policies, White House sources say he has dropped out of sight.
Read full storyDemocracy Finally Prevails!!!
Democracy finally prevails taking down the American dream of a Republic. They started the democratic revolution in the schools by requiring all children attend public education. They required taxes from all citizens to provide this education, your child or not, and in exchange the student learned what the government felt important. They even came up with standardized tests and then started givi...
Read full storyHigh School Musical 3 Begins Filming
Principle photography for High School Musical 3 being in Salt Lake City for the third movie in the popular Disney Channel series. This film will find the stars as eighteen year olds in their senior year.
Read full storyRapper Buys Graceland From Presley Family
Graceland was the house that Elvis built. The Memphis mansion was the home to Elvis, Priscilla, and the infant Lisa Marie Presley. It was later featured in a song and album by Paul Simon and has long been a museum/tourist attraction. That all ende...
Read full storyRecent Poll Shows Obama Wins!
A recent poll conducted by Preigert and Klunk declared Obama the clear winner when considering the following criteria:...
Read full storyFDA Declares Fingernails Protein in School Lunches
During the Reagan Administration, ketchup on hamburgers was officially declared a vegetable. In the Clinton years, corn chips with cheese sauce and pinto beans (nachos) became acceptable in school lunch programs as a main dish, fulling grain, dairy,...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Selects Least Talented to Leave Show
America called and texted, the votes are in, and the latest wannabe celebrity is leaving American Idol. This week, the viewers selected the latest person that they did not want to hear sing, dance, or speak any more...and that person was...
Read full storyBahrain Grand Prix Bans Formula One S&M Nazi
Manama, Bahrain - (Lurid Ass Mess): Manama princeling Shaikh Someun Bin Had has banned world motorsport's top S&M Nazi fellater Max Mosley from this weekend's Bahrain Grand Prix.
Read full storyClinton's latest attack on Obama - incriminating childhood photos of him eating his favorite food: Velveeta Grilled Cheese Sandwiches on White Bread
Washington, DC - In what some political analysts are calling the most despicable sortie on Barack Obama to date (one even the Republicans would not dare launch fearing being labeled racist), someone in the Clinton campaign is suspected to have releas...
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